from longings to matters

AIM = artists in mission

2011-09-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have worked on the Logos Hope ship for a couple of months and when I met the founder, George Verwer, I was totally inspired.My dream to have a sailing boat one day is very old. It's so old i forget about this dream even. Before I went on the ship I told my boss at the Dutch Navy that I would go work on a ship, and anyways, my contract ended too and it was not going to be prolonged since they were cutting costs. Job agency workers are let go first.I explained him about the ship, he knows I'm Christian. But then he said something that shocked me: well, you are an artist. instead of working on this ship, you should have your own artist ship and go around the world sharing the gospel with other artists.I couldn't believe was I was hearing out of the mouth of my non-believing boss. But God can speak thru anyone. If He did, i'm not sure, but it felt like this boss just formulated a lingering dream I have had and gave it shape.Then when I started to work on the ship, there were many more 'confirmations' of this desire. And to top it off George Verwer spoke exactly about this: big dreams are the opportunities God is looking for: he is BIG so he wants to do BIG, thru us. Normally as a person you think: oh, it's too big, i need to be a millionaire. Or oh, it's too much fun to actually be possible.But it's really a matter of praying for it and going along trusting, and see how God makes things happen. First God prepares you. He doesn't want you to get into something you can't handle. He doesn't want you to get burnt out for example. Things must go in a good balance. Then He prompts you to take steps, so He can direct those. See, it's God's big plan, so all the honor goes to Him too. So you can't say that you did it. George Verwer is the founder of the Logos Ships but he won't get tired to mentioned that it's actually all God's doing. I wouldn't want it any other way.But my dream for the art platform in Curacao is getting more and more shape!Yes, I don't want to do it by myself, I want to do it with a group of christian artist who are or want to get on fire for the Lord in their artistic profession. I would love to have the platform for artists-in-residencies to get training in how to preach/heal/listen/prophesy/inspire/bring people closer to Jesus thru their art. Those are basically all things from the Holy Spirit. There are many christian conferences and such. But are there also many christian AIR's? The Bible is such an endless source to make art about, it's crazy. Example: I'm working on an art installation about the book of Ezekiel and there is so much to work with.But also i like it because it's for me the most exciting way to dig in and study the Word, by afterwards pour what I've learned and experienced into an art form. It's what a pastor does with his or her teachings. i've gotta sleepnext blog soon

theft

2011-08-04T03:12:00.001-07:00

I dream everyday of starting a new life in Curacao.

I plan to return in the end of 2012 and before I arrive in Curacao i plan to make a journey around the globe.
As I am traveling, the possesions i want to take to Curacao with me (not much, but still) are being shipped to Curacao, so that when I arrive my stuff is there and I can send them to a new appartment :)
I am looking for a job in the meantime, a part time job to be able to pay for monthly costs (like food, rent, phone, internet). Also i will start a foundation.
But for the foundation and the art platform I write about in this blog, I don't want to do this alone.

I want to do this with people in my foundation and or with other people who have the same heart for art and God.

Also I notice that I don't want to do something so intensive that it steels the time I need to be with God. I know that I can be with God while doing work. But I also know when it is not the case. I want to prevent this from happening over and over again :)

Because of this I keep searching for God's will and I hope that He will be the one that will do the planning as it says in
Psalm 32:8 (NLT) "The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.

Restore

2011-05-29T03:17:00.000-07:00

The Quarantine Hospital as I mentioned before, was a place where people came after a looong trip on the ocean, weather the future looked bright after that, or the future was much worse.
The current status people had in the previous centuries was sickness, and this building was to recover. The last official purpose of the building was that it was a hospital for leprosy patients. After that the building was sometimes used for parties, or for those who thought it was beautiful and romantic, for a wedding. But it is beautiful, and romantic.
I would love to return this building to it's glory and continue the aspect of recovery. But recovery, not with medical care, but with art, film ,food and rest.

I would love for it to stay a public domain.
I picture this building having on the ground floor: a exhibition space, a terrace behind and a little library where the books reach the ceiling.
The art exhibition space is part of the Artist-in-Residence of the building.
3 times a year both an Caribbean and foreign artist are invited to come and make their work.
Not only artists are invited, also architects, garden architects, illustrators and designers.
The terrace in the back is where breakfast, lunches and dinners take place. People are also welcome to come and have lunch or dinner, but the terrace is inherent to the other activities that take place. The breakfast, lunches and dinners are organic and biological foods.
It is possible to host parties there and bands can come and play entertaining music.
The library is an art library: it has art history books, contemporary art books, art books from all the different parts in the world, from Islamic art till the art of the Brazilian tribe in the Amazons. Also all type of design books, magazines, and dvd's are there to view or borrow.

The new quarantine hospital should be as some kind of retreat center, where new energy for creating is there without any pressure. It could be a place for rest, to unwind your mind.
In the next blog I will tell about my dreams for the basement of the building..

the quarantaine hospital

2010-12-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

One big dream I have, is to have a cultural art platform on Curacao.
I already have chosen the location, the building.
I already know what should happen in this platform.

The building however, used to be an old hospital built in the 18th century, an old ruin from colonial times.
The history is that sailors came there to restore to health. But a lot of them died anyway. They were infested with the typical diseases sailors used to get back in those days.
The building also had people from Africa there to restore their strength from the most horrible trip ever: the crossing of the Atlantic ocean in those horrible slave-ships.
The people that did survive the crossing over, are real survivors. The survive-gene runs in all their descendants today. They came to this building to regain strength before they got sold. The slave trade was dominated by Jewish salesmen.
Thirdly the hospital was also for lepers. And so this was a very contagious deadly disease, or so people thought back in those days. This is what kept people away from this building for decades: disease and death. And over all: the spirits of the deceased that are hunting the building.

I know that a lot of Dutch people are interested in this building. To make it a restaurant or hotel. None of them got it so far. This is why: it's from the island, it belongs to the government and the people.
And that's how it should stay.
The Dutch who fell in love with this building, just like I did, all seek for themselves, their intentions in the direction of what they can GET from this building: i like the building and see myself owning it and making a living with a restaurant or hotel.
It's a nice thought, but it doesn't GIVE or add anything to the people of the island. We already have hotels and restaurants, even way too many.
We should have more buildings that are public to everyone. For everyone to be part of, to participate in, to use and live in. For people to explore new thoughts and feelings within themselves. Free access, like a public library. To learn in, to create in, to explore with, to develop. Art and culture. A platform.
This building. This area.

Write down you visions and dreams

2010-12-05T12:49:00.001-08:00

Then the LORD replied:

“Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald[b] may run with it.
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it[c] will certainly come
and will not delay.

KINDNESS

2010-07-01T12:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was great fun in this place all the way into the north of Finland, but not quite Lapland yet. The forest made impression, the artist were laid back and friendly. Nature and art goes well together. Hence my next word: KINDNESS

Back to Tallinn

2010-07-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Nobody gave me a ride as I was trying to hitch hike to Voru.
So I took the bus, and from there went to Tartu, where I got my ticket to Tallinn.
It was all by all a very pleasant ride and I got to see the landscape of Estonia. Which is very relaxing.

a weekend full of Finland

2010-07-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

I was pleasantly surprised: with a daytrip ticket it costs like 32 euro to go to Helsinki, and that in just an hour and a half. So this was a nice opportunity to see Helsinki and visit my friends from Finland there who I graduated with.

For some reason my creditcard didn't work on the website to book the ticket. As I got to the port the ticket was 20 euro more. Boo. Anyway, here we go. I was sitting at a table with some shy finnish girls, a bit older Cosmo-girl and a couple who went outside to smoke every 5 minutes. The guy was a bit tipsy so started to chat. He never heard of the language Papiamentu before. He kept saying Papiamentuuuu, he loved it. We exchanged info cause he wanted to learn this language, (haha, until the moment he is sober again). He used to be a marine or work on the sea, but now wants to be with his wife as much as he can. He bought me a drink and insisted that I used his mobile phone to tell my friend we're 8 minutes late. You see, you can make finnish friends on the Linda line just as fast as the ferry itself.

My friend was really happy to see me again. It has been a long time indeed. Another reason she was so happy is that she was very much in love. We took the bus to this other art house in the country, just like Sanna, but this one was a 8 hour ride from Helsinki. But longer. She said her class mates would start drinking around noon. But they didn't. Nobody got drunk (yet). People just like me where constantly dozing off. The ride was pleasant. I had no idea i could sleep so much on a bus comfortably like
that.

2 little rendeer did not realise they were on a dangerous highway.

We arrived at the spot. There were a lot of speeches, i had no idea Finnish people talk that much, and the mosquitoes were feasting on the people. You see, we thought we came there to party, but it was the other way around. We were the reason for the mosquitoes to party.

There was a wonderful diner made for us and I liked the exposition. The place made the art works come out in a way more relaxed and free. I don't know how to explain. But that's how it felt. Relaxed art works.
I had a real wood sauna. It was a nice way to connect with the other women who were there. The sauna was wonderful. It was like the one I had in Belarus, but there they call it banja. Which is bathing in papiamentuuuu.

We danced all night long on baltic and romanian gypsy music. But the night didn't come. The sun stayed with us not to miss a minute of the party.

The next day we explored the oldest forest of Europe for a second time. The first time one older artist got the urge to thank God for the trees. So people drank to that (wodka, what else? Nespresso coffee?!)

I enjoyed the forest a lot, as long as the mosquitos allowed us to be there. The ones of Curacao are not even THAT hungry.
The bus had some technical difficulties. Seemed that the car battery was dead. After a couple of hours it was back to life and we took off. But the trip back was not nice at all. I was also very bored but couldn't sleep. I had made friends to chat with on the way back. Again friends to add, haha. Funny detail is that one of the friends friend is having an expo in the E.K.K.M near the port in Tallin.

Mustarinda is also inspiring me alot for the art platform I want to start :)
Art in Mustarinda

Cool local refreshment designs :) and delicious too, not too sweet, just perfect

GENTLENESS

2010-06-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

New land art project! : every nice site I go to, I will see which word of Col 3:12 strikes me there. And the word for this area and the people was: 'gentleness'

1Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

spending time in creation with Creator

2010-06-25T16:10:00.000-07:00

enjoying my alone time
making fires to keep warm and get rid of the mosquitoes
(and it's also fun)
working a bit on my animation
reading my bible and get inspiration for a new land art project.
The next morning: a nice breakfast of krackerbröd with sardines in tomato saus, tin on the fire! eating it hot and tasty :)

At night I got a bit bored that I discovered that I had internet on my phone (normally my provider in Holland doesn't provide for that if you have prepaid) I text my friends in Amsterdam, and my credit runs out. Just at the moment that I said I was startled to death by the sound of...my own stomach rumbling.

enjoying the fields

2010-06-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

Despite my hay-fever I really enjoy being outside, rolling in the fields, picking flowers, watching lady bugs and eating wild strawberries. I guess it's the child in me.
I stayed at a tree house, 10 minutes from the art place, in the woods. More in the next post.

The cats and me

2010-06-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

Cats sense that I love cats. But then again for that same reason I could also work on their cat nerves and they would avoid me. You would think. But no. Ernest 18-year-old cat Lucy prefers me to sleep at my feet (although she IS a very sweet cat) and then there was this farmer cat that had dog features just like Silky does. She was following me everywhere like a dog. But even funnier, she was hopping behind me like a bunny! It was such a playful cat and we had such fun together as I was exploring the area a bit.

Video of cat Kona and me

Video of cat Silky and me

Culturemanor of Sänna

2010-06-24T11:02:00.001-07:00

Sänna is this art community for artist and local people to work on projects, give or take workshops, be in nature and just do fresh cool stuff while meeting other people.
I definitely want to return here. I was to come back to give a video workshop but then I get in trouble with the time line of my animation (haha, i use the word time line, this happens of all the animating) I met such sweet people here. And it's so low-profile, down-to-earth. Anyone is free to do any workshop. We should definitely return and do some fun workshops with the local people of this village. The teenagers are bored out of their mind anyways and find it very interesting to have foreign artist teach them something interesting. website: http://kultuurimois.kultuuritehas.ee/

Tease of Tallinn

2010-06-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been in downtown to really explore it yet. But I always say: I need to just come here and take an entire afternoon wandering around and taking pictures, enjoy the atmosphere. It's such a lovely city. They say it's the best preserved medieval city of Europe. And it is indeed. Cause although it's super old, it looks fresh and tidy.

There you see Ernest in an art gallery. Ernest is really funny, i like his humor and his je-ne-sais-quoi-goofyness ;) He is also a caring person, always gives tips.

We are going to the south of the country tomorrow, to an art place called Sanna. The traveling will only take 2,5 hours. And a train ticket for that distance is like 9 euros! Darn Nederlandse Spoorwegen!

day 3 and 4

2010-06-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

days 3 and 4
I work my ass of on the animation and then just suddenly lose two hours because I really do not kknow the ins and outs of Flash Pro. But my intelligence will not let me completely in the lurch and I'm learning bits and pieces, more and more.
Went to the embassy Wednesday. I wanted to go cycling, according to Ernest only 20 minutes. I was biking nicely half an hour in the wrong direction. Fine. So went back, put the bike on a side, picked the bus and went into town. It was beautiful weather. The lady at the embassy is super fun and makes me think of aunt Adrie. I should call my aunt tonight. the ambassy lady lives a couple of years in each country. Actually ideal. Her husband, she has got to know him while she was in Yemen, is her housewife. He is also deliciously disturbed as she is. So refreshing this loving couple. I'm so happy to encounter these much loosening and less dry Dutch for a change.

Meanwhile I learn a great deal about the Polymer Culture Factory. They therefore do not get any grant or anything but only rent. They are not like legally registered and all and they do nothing to renovate or maintenance because there is simply no money actually. Only what is really really necessary they fix.
This inspires me a great deal for the quarantine hospital in Curacao. To simply just start from scratch. And with time to expand. Only is it a monument. But as it looks now it can't get any worse anyway.

I've seen the old town and really want to devote some days to discover it more. And so also the coast where the ferries are. Interesting environment there!about the comment I only discovered today (sorry, i think nobody reads this blog) It is the lady from the ambassy that calls her husband housewife, and he likes it too. But I don't think the 'head of the family' is only the one who provides financially for a family. There is more to it, to be the head of the family. You must also be able to protect, for example, and in the end to take the call for mayor decisions. Whatever Jesus does to the church, how he takes care of her, is the example of what the head of a family does as well. But no, as in this subject in my art I am not so into finding ways to get opinions of western society of today, equal the biblical standards or find ways to make biblical ways match up to how we want to see things today.

day 2

2010-06-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

The next day I wake up way too late. I should be stricter on myself.
I had all these plans to go to town, but I would start with the animation. First, I seek an opportunity to get Flash CS3 talking again. No success. I throw it away and d/l Flash from Adobe's website. A cracked version is too much hassle and I do not want to. Does me little good. So it is the latest version, cs5. Already? Jeez, it's like every year they release a version, it makes no sense.
I get a terrible stiff back of the retro chair. My body can't take crappy furniture. I need a good bed, I'm so happy that I sleep on a hard surface and not some bed with springs or something.

I want to buy a ball to sit on and go to the mall. Maybe there is a sport shop that sells them. The sports shop hasn't got the ball. I would have to go nearby the airport, there is another mall. Estonians love the mall, Truely told me. Yes, people want to gain back the capitalistic crap what they think they've lost. But they will sooner or later find out that shopping isn't gain at all.
I buy myself a nice roast chicken leg, the scent haunted me. But it was also cheapo. This country is crazy that they will introduce the euro. Look at Scandinavia and follow their example. But no! Mr. the president is thinking so smart.
But my chicken was quite tasty. Would go great with chips:) Nice 'n greasy, mwhaha.
I think I just go to the airport so buy bus tickets. But then I hear that I might as well just go to the city. Well then I get the bike. So nice of Mr. Truely to borrow me his bike
But when I get there I get invited by Mr. Truely to go on the planted roof. I make the attempt, I can also ask about the sports shop, although they don't strike me the sporty types. On my way I found a decent chair and pick it up. This one doesn't torment my back so much.
And I'm back to my computer and enjoy working on my animation.
I bake some fries with my chickenleg before but have almost no oil.Because of that I use olive oil with heats up too fast. The kitchen is blue with smoke.
But it comes with good fries and after a lot of patience I am sitting with a plate of fries, chicken mayo and Malcolm in the middle to watch and crack up.

Later Mr. Truely stops by. Says I need to meet this girl Tuuli that has a thing for cycling. What a cute name. Okay, I'll meet her.
There is a concert in the building and I go also to meet the Tuuli girl. When I get there I see a couple of guys making music and the audience seems completely bored and super folded into their sofa's. This can not be right. I greet a girl in the door. They are really friendly.
I leave as quick as I came.
But Mr. Truely calls me by text messaging me back. For the Tuuli girl who likes bikes. She has such a friendly round face and makes me think of Lisette.
The musicians are okay so is the atmosphere, I drink a beer, I had not much fluid today anyway. If I'm really thirsty, I drink beer in company. Turns out not to be good, but water is determined not to be available in this bar.
Yes, it's sort of punky audience, but it doesn't matter to me. The people have nothing to expect from me and I expect nothing from them. I'm just here to superegocentricly to make my work and live as a hermit. I'm not that interested to meet much people.
Sometimes I think: Don't I have a limit in meeting new potential friends?

But I meet people anyway and yes, that same night add a girl to my facebook friends. She has dj-d some wicked tunes and preachings about Jesus, yeah! And maybe she arranges a night where I can VJ with her, she said.

I go away again, away from the Estonian friendly people. Some work to do and then my bed, I think.
But when I place the key in the lock something goes wrong. The key won't turn or anything. I fight this thing until I become desperate and call upon Jesus for help. (yes, that desperate) Happens to ME again. I can't stand all these crap things, we don't get along. It reminds me of that crappy jeep that I had got to drive in Curacao and which I totally killed in the end.
Fortunately there is another connecting door that can shut.

so now it's time to sleep. People still make music. I respect the patience of these people. The music does not bother me, except for the wailing of a rock singer while I was fighting the stuck key.

I'm afraid that Truely is going to have some experiences with me. I hope that more people have had their keys stuck.

Okay. 4 of the 32 scenes created. But it will go faster.

Avantia in Estonia

2010-06-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

Day 1
It really is an ugly building at first but still breathes a certain coziness and attentiveness. The walls are painted with a variety of patterns and stencil drawings.
Mr. Truely said from the airport already to be nervous for my reaction. When we got to the room he introduced a very dark dusty room my eyes and brains hardly got adjusted to until he joked that he was just kidding.

I am very happy with the largest room in the building! The small room is so in bad condition, that it's probably illegal to put anyone to sleep in there. The mold would do a number on the longs.
It is as if my room hasn't been cleaned ever, but the space! If you're from Amsterdam, everything is great.

And yes it's cold, like Mr. Truely had warned me. I was bummed with myself that I didn't take my long thick vest with me. But I like to travel light. So now I'm just unlucky.
But for everything a solution: I use a robe of the previous occupant. Thinner, but it does the work.
Everything is shaby but with character. I love these old retro furniture.

In order to feel at home I put my laptop on the desk and try to get internet connection which succeeds after several attempts. How internet infested are we nowadays ;)
We go to the supermarket and I do some shopping.
I forgot my wallet. Stupid. So back I go.
The people are very friendly and yes they stare at you, but people are not shy. Just friendly. I think they wonder why I find it so interesting to come there, of all places.
I have a list of countries I want to visit because they are interesting, and Estonia was not on it. Well, I just enjoy discovering unexpected locations. Just like in my art.
I return and cook and because the electronic pits are slow to heat, I sweep the studio. A daily therapy to relax myself if necessary, haha.
It's interesting but there are just people who never in their lives have cleaned a house. Only wash. Their bodies and teeth. And their hair. But nothing further.
So they live as woodlice under a layer of dirt.
But anyway: it is better that I cleaned it myself, i now know the status.
I move the desk next to the heater.
I put some extra cozy stuff in living room and dust off. I found a cool retro lamp. The plug is broken and I fix it. I put it in the socket and that is wrong. The electricity is gone. Stupidity No. 2 today. I'm afraid that not only the fuse is blown but the powersocket is just really broken. Fried.
I call and SMS mr Truely because the heaters now long work. Cold is not my friend.
Fortunately, there is a fuse box around the corner, a modern one. Shows that the water cooker is also a part of the problem.

When I go to sleep I make my bed, the loft bed. The sheets smell fresh and clean. I make a nest with all the pillows out there. The power is working again, the lamp above is in the shape of a heart and gives red light.
Cheesy, but I am glad it is not a fry-lamp.
I have my Bible on standby for tomorrow.
I watch a sitcom that always cracks me up and fall asleep happy.