ScanDisk the heart

CHECK LIST OF THE HEART'S INTENTIONS

As a Christian in everything it's good to scan your heart for impure motivations.

I remember when we just had a PC at home, back in the 90's, and I would run regurlary a program called ScanDisk, in MS DOS. It would scan the entire system and look for errors etc. It was maintenance, so the computer could run and be used to its full potential. I wanted to get everything out of the machine.

This, being like 15 years old, made me realize I also need to 'scandisk' my heart from time to time, purely for maintenance. To be able to run properly as a follower of Christ. But today: How much of my full potential of my being do I give to God?

Today as I was doing my devotion I read this text and I found it a good 'scandisk' question: 

How many of us are not content to serve God with the gifts He has given us while whining about the fact that others have the gifts we want. 

We convince ourselves that our longing for a bigger platform is to further the Kingdom when, in reality, that longing is for self-promotion, fame and recognition.

Now the devotion is about jealousy, and how this is a very bad root to grow anything out of it. Nothing good will sprout out of jealousy. On the contrary, just destruction.

But for me it's not about jealousy at this moment, it's about continuously searching for the right motivations for this dream I have, so that I can built with the right motivations and not the wrong ones. 

That's why this sentence is always good to scan with:

we convince ourselves that our longing for a bigger platform is to further the Kingdom when, in reality, that longing is for self-promotion, fame and recognition.

1. Is the Art Ship dream for self-promotion?

2. Is the Art Ship for fame?

3. Is the Art Ship for recognition?

A. Is the Art Platform for self-promotion?

B. Is the Art Platform for fame?

C. Is the Art Ship for recognition?

Good questions.

I will answer them right now, but regurlary answer them again from time to time, for myself.

I am already an artist and each step of becoming that artist-in-the-making has been totally by God's doing: my art education I have had thanks to God, my graduation, my residencies after that, my exhibitions, my assignments, everything.

I am an artist for no other reason than that God wants me to be one. Being an artist is not a save choice. Being a Christian artist even worse. I can't make or produce anything worthwhile without His input. He is my source and drive. Or my work can be weak, empty. There is a lot of empty art out there as it is, because of the source the artist has.

I also see it as a way to be salt in the world of art. A lot of times as a Christian artist, it's not about the art I make, it is about the people I encounter, mostly. And what God wants me to do with these moments. They are orchestrated by Him and He is actually the artist in the background.

So I don't do anything for selfpromotion: neither the Art Ship or the Art Platform. It just doesn't make sense. Nothing is built up from my own to start with. 

An artist that has built up an art platform with his own strength, that's great! I am happy and proud for that artist. But I am not that artist because I chose to serve God and not myself.

Is the Art Ship and Platform for fame?

YES. To this question I would say that the GOAL is not fame, but the RESULT of fame would be cool. 

Why: because I want to let the world see how cool God is and how He can do big things with those who serve Him.

We have such a powerful rich God, and we want the world to understand that. Anything is possible for this God and we want the world to understand that.

So in this context I would love one of the outcomes to be fame. But personal fame…? Now let's see.

I remember in high school I wanted to be popular. (I actually did become popular in the last year of high school). As I was a Christian, I did not stand a chance, I thought. I thought: One day, when we are all already grown up and high school belongs to the past - I will be famous and you all will remember me. I thought so because I thought I was 'special' and nobody was seeing that at the time. Yes, in high school, forming your identity, these are the thoughts that consume your mind. Being special and being seen.

Funny thing is that now I am not having this as a drive, (to become famous) but learn to trust in God's timing in my art career. He is totally my manager. He could indeed make me a famous artist if he wants. But what is a famous artist anyway? Isn't it your ART that makes you famous, IF you are to be famous. Not you. People don't actually know what the french artist Christo looks like. Or what  Jeff Koons looks like. Unless you make a lot of self-portraits that get famous too. Of course then people know what you look like (Frida Kahlo, Vincent van Gogh, but they are dead)

As a Christian artist you feel like shit when you pursuit self-ambition, and fame, you can feel very empty and disappointed  I know this from my own experience, and I soon decided not to bother with this. That is very freeing! and a better way to truly work on your becoming-an-artist.

Recognition for my self as an artist? Yes, I probably do look on this. Because the more work I have and the more I can make a living from my art, the more people have recognized me/are recognizing me.

Although, just as the fame, it is more a RESULT then a goal, since God gives me the work in His timing. Then there is the law of what your reap is what you sow: working continuously and focused will pay off, or produce fruit. This is for any artist, Christian or not.

Recognition for the Art Ship or Platform?

Again, it would be a nice result, but it is not the main drive why I pursuit these dreams. I can' even pursuit these dreams on my own, neither do i want to. So how can I get personal recognition for any of these?

I want to preferably pursuit these dreams with a mate, a partner, since 2 can do more then 1. I am currently also scanning my heart to see if the desire to have a life partner is a need that God puts in all of us since he actually wants to be the one person that we need, this need we have to be loved by that special someone. Every human being has this need, some stronger then others, so probably I think it originates from being created to be loved and cared for by God. This topic is a new one, i'll continue it in another note :)

Let's get started!

The prayer group is shaping up! I already have some people who have heart for the idea and really are into it. Meanwhile I will work on a way of generating income long term, of course for my self but... What has inspired me now is this verse to have as a goal: to help other christians in need.
I have an idea that could get big like Pinterest for example, (you think: oh dream on). the only way is to just start trying it out.  So 1. I will start with that
2. Yesterday I received a box from the post office with like 7 books from George Verwer, that he sent, such a nice gift! The latest he wrote 'Drops from a Leaking Tap' I will start with, and also the book True Grit, from Deborah Meroff.

At this point the Curacao government is temporary, set for 6 months. I don't think it's the right time to inquire about the quarantine hospital at all. It would be a waste of my time. But with the next government sitting, I hope to start getting that ball rolling too.

Okay, i'll post more developments as they unfold soon.

This morning I had a series of pleasant dreams

This morning, the 4th of March 2013 already, I woke up very happy and relaxed. Bliss.
I have to say that since I'm back on the island, I have had very interesting dreams, very pleasant dreams and very freeing and liberating dreams.

But let me tell the dreams I had this morning, that at first I thought were just regular, but nice dreams. Afterwards, I think they were not just nice dreams...

In my first dream I was swimming in the ocean, you can say at Caracasbaai, but not at the beach but near rock formation. Okay, in this pic below You see at the most far side this rock formation, no beach there. I was swimming there with my cousins. Similar-ish. The water is very deep and dark blue and we had a stairs to climb out. (Do you see that building on top? Keep that building in mind for the next dream, but I'll post another pic around that time).

So me and my cousins, especially those that are adventurous like me and love to swim (Samantha, Renato, my sister, Glenda, Lucretia) I don't know exactly which ones, but my generation and family.
We were having a blast, especially me, with this seal. I mean, actually there are no seals in the caribbean sea, i think. They are more in cold waters. This explains our excitement with this seal.
The seal was by it self and was like a puppy who wanted to play with us and we just had a blast with him. I could hold him and he would drag me into the waters, like a torpedo. And there was also either a dolphin or a penguin(!) Another animal that is in cold waters that joined us. So our fun was exploding.
My aunt Joyce called us: she wanted to take some pictures of us, of all her nephews and nieces.

I got out with the seal under my arm ánd the penguin under the other arm. I was so excited to have them in the picture with us. But my aunt took like a thousand pictures of us and she wanted us to pose in the most standard, most obvious, boring way: the shortest people in a line in front and the tallest in a line behind, all next to eachother in a neat line, standing straight. And she just took the same pictures over and over again, she was standing straight in front of us and we had to smile etc. You get the picture, the 'official' boring way of taking pictures. I ran out of patience although I couldn't wait to see the pictures with the animals in it!! They were very calm, but i worried about them. I think they were drying out. They needed water! So after a while I started to rebel: i took all kind of funny poses, from different angles and positions and I put funny faces. And I certainly didn't look into the lens anymore. Then I told tante Joyce, okay that's really enough we need to get back into the sea and I ran into the ocean with the animals still under my arm. We kept playing with the sun glistering on the water.
I wanted to see the pictures afterwards so badly, but I was worried that there were no pictures, since I was dreaming (lucid dream)

Dream 2:
The next dream I was on a cruise ship that was quietly sailing on a VERY LUSCIOUS and beautiful closed-of river, like in the Amazone, so no open sky, beau-ti-ful green and flowers everywhere and birds and colors. It was magical and this huge cruise ship was tightly going thru all this beauty. Well, dreams are crazy. But again: i was with lot's of people and we were very happy. Kinda like the Logos Hope ship but bigger and we soooo enjoyed God's creation, as if, yes that's how it felt: this was a part on the planet nobody has discovered yet before.

Dream 3:
Now this dream is very funny too.

I was having a lunch break from work with my friend Lukas (by the way: Lukas has read this blog and is totally on the prayer team and is totally into my vision, he told me today :). So I was with Lukas, chitchatting, we were super relaxed, we enjoyed our work so much and were on a break and we felt so GROUNDED in God's love and God's family: we felt we were doing our calling and the satisfaction was super. So then we were having our break on a dock.
The dock was actually again near Caracasbaai, just like where I was swimming with the seal and the penguin, but a bit further where large ships dock.

Large ships, tankers, oilrigs normally park there. (for real too, see picture above, and also see this one building on top to the left to the left ;) You see, that's where we WORK. A HUUUUGE cruise ship was approaching the dock. It was totally silent, it just moved nearer and nearer and was so high that you couldn't see the sky! We were waiting for a friend who worked on that ship but she was to far somewhere into that large ship that she had someone deliver a package for us. It was a colorful package with candy, like exotic japanese candy, (I watched a Japanese movie yesterday) and we were psyched that she gave us that nice gift. Right after the guy gave the delivery, the ship backed away and left very quickly, but we found it all the most normal thing. There were the heavy-duty workers on the deck of the ship (so now there was a deck, I guess the back part of the ship since it was so high at the front). and the men were acting really excited. they were acting crazy as if in heat or something. I sensed they were looking so crazily at me. So I asked Lukas: why are they acting like total idiots??
Lukas said very laid back and relaxed: oh, that's just because you are naked. I was totally nude. I looked down and wasn't even shocked or ashamed. I was like: yeah, duh. So what?! Why do they make such a big deal? It makes me a bit self-conscious if they act like that, although I was totally fine and confortable being naked. I was even especially happy with my broader hips, because in reality i don't have broad hips but wish i do. I don't remember if Lukas was naked too, or if he had clothes on. Just because I totally didn't notice, or paid attention to what he had on or what he looked like that day. I just knew I was with Lukas and that's it.
We walked back to work, the quarantaine hospital, our break was over.

I woke up and first thing i did is I told my parents my dreams, because I was so blissful in the morning, not a single worry in my system. It's all light, birds and breeze in my room, every morning. I felt a little taste of something in those dreams...
My mom said: oh that's funny: we just got the offer in the mailbox for the cruise ship trip to the Mediterranean we're going to take. (Spain, Italy, Croatia)
Then I whatsapped Lukas and told him he was part of a dream and he said he was thinking about the vision again and would pray for the dream i just had :)
Later in the evening I went to a bible study. It was about Genesis.
It was about at the beginning status / relationship we had with God. How we had sooooo much choice in fruit trees (but 1 tree). There are soooo many fruit trees in the world! There are sooo many beautiful birds. And other animals to play with. We were in God's presence and God physically visited us every day, say between 5 and 6.30 pm, in the cool of the day. Okay, so in Adam and Eve's case they were hiding from God, as they knew He would visit again as usual, and they heard His presence aproaching.
But before that they realized after eating the forbidden fruit that they were naked. I mean they were naked all along, but now they looked at eachother from the outside. Oh, you're Asian? Oh you're fat. Oh, you're blond! Oh, you're a bit old. We look and first see our appearances.
Before we were not aware of our appearances, because we didn't see it: we were into each others spirits. We were on a whole different level. I don't remember what Lukas was wearing or if he was naked too. I just didn't register all that, I only knew I was chatting to Lukas and I was very connected to him. I only saw his spirit, and felt connected with his soul. How weird is that, that you don't see the appearance of a person but only feel the person? You have a deep connection on a spiritual level and all the physical appearances of the other being don't matter, or you are just not aware of.
So in the dream: fact was that I was nude all the time, but had no notice cause it wasn't something to make a big deal about, i was oblivious of it. and Lukas said it totally matter-of-factly: oh, cause you're naked, and I knew that but whatever. But next to that: we felt so grounded, so in place, so purposefully. It was how one day it will be, either in heaven or in the 1000 years millennium, but I hope also a taste of this, in the old quarantine hospital building, restored.  I'm not sure if we would work as staff naked though, but why not. I just think that it's a step too far for most Christians, both non-believers, as they connect sexuality with being naked. And we just aren't in the garden of Eden. But the feeling of that place, should be sort of, approached at this building, one day...

The day before I read in my bible:
Ephesians 4:28

Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

This is about Christians who were stealing.

It must feel great to do something 1. useful with 2. your own hands, that you are even able to 3. share with those in need. I mean: how satisfying must that be? that from your work the income even enables you to share. I think this is a wonderful goal: I would love to work in a way that I am able to look out for other peoples needs,  meaning that my needs are probably already met and I don't even seek to have my needs met first. I won't be in that spiral where there is always something else that I would  want. Like: I have everything, but now I want to have my own spa. Then after I have the spa, how cool it would be to have a yacht. After I have the yacht, but how nice it would be to go on winter sport every year. After I do that every year, but how nice would it be to go on safari again. And I would love to have those hand-made Greek beds worth 6000 euro and up, or how about owning this aweome trailer where... so with this starting point I never am really satisfied it seems.

Concluding: fine tuning the elements of the work I would like to do and that has me grounded in God's love and presence, fulfilled with purpose and satisfaction, by seeking for others needs, while being with animals and in nature and being totally confortable with my self, together with my brothers and sisters and family in Christ.

I tasted a paradise-like but futuristic era, even though God was not physically present in the dream and didn't even come up.

More good advice and OPEN CALL

Thanks  I am now back home with wife D. which is great.   Praying for you again.    The main thing is never first what we are doing but first who we are and our life in Christ……have you read some of my books.? In his grip, george

and my reply:

Yes, I did, but many years ago. Which title again would you recommend? Then I might re-read or read it, the one that you think will help me with this specific dream.

I think I will read these books and meanwhile keep looking for my team:

George:

I would love you to read my books….can I send them in spanish or English or both….you can always give  them away if extra   my latest is Drops  or Gotaas…I think you would find it helpful.  Put clear address in an e mail back to me.  His grip george

And so I did. Meanwhile I have an OPEN CALL to my friends but also people I have never met before:

IF

you are believer (as in you have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your life)

you LOVE other cultures, love to travel, love to be in the outdoors, love the ocean

you are adventurous, 

but also enjoy working in one place, working hard but because you love it so much it doesn't matter

love to be in a warm country and like people and their mentality from warm countries in general

AND  PERhAPS

you happen to be a captain

you happen to be a miljonair or know people who are so rich they would love to do something nice with their money

you happen to have contacts in the maritim world

you are in the boat vessel business or in some business connected with ships

or you know someone who is

OR

You are good in organizing, you are an effective progressive type

You are  artsy carpenter

You are architect

You are a chief engineer

You are into (green) durability 

You are visionary

You are great in connecting people, but also mobilizing people

You are dreamy

You have a great sense of humor

AND

God has placed a similar look-alike dream in your heart or you could see yourself in some place in this either 

BASIS of the Art ship: the art platform based in Curaçao

or you could see yourself serving on this art ship

Hmmm, maybe you should write me more about your ideas! Maybe you would like to be part of my prayer team?

Let's start communicating

This is me:

I enjoy ice cream from time to time. How about you? Tell me more about you and your dream :) Who knows who knows.

Good advices

Dear Avantia   

 I read this and prayed for you.  I would suggest you get at least 10 people  sold out to your dream and vision who are ready to suffer and have their hearts broken many times to go forward to make it happen.   Esp get a captain and chief engineer.  I had both and many more people before I took the big step  plus 14 years of solid foundation…prayer partners ...   donors….and about 100 people long term that were committed and loyal including top accountants…

Keep in mind as I learned the hard way that you will need huge amounts of money…and that ships are basically to some degree major floating problems.  Be read to eat them for breakfast.    So God bless you.      It's best to be in touch with our ship director Peter Nicoll…..praying for  you.    One idea is to do it on land in  a rented place to prove the vision and grow it.    This is what we did and it was a great help

his grip,

George

My response:

Dear George,

Thank you so much for your response. It is very helpful advice. I will continue to pray and search for a team. I think it is a good idea to start first on land. 

Thank you also for already being in my praying team :). If you meet people that you think: hey, this person has a similar dream as Avantia has, you can give them my email address.

Many blessings and greetings for sunny Curaçao!

Avantia

The Art Ship

The art ship
The main focus of the Logos Hope ship is to spread bibles in countries where it's hard for people to get their hands on the good book.  This is a cool starting point. 
The main focus for the Art Ship is to spread the message of the gospel thru art all over the globe. This ship has christian artist on it who love to travel and make cool art at the same time. Not only do they get to make art, they also give workshops to share their expertise with other artists, christian or not. They will exhibit in the harbours where the ship is docked and do projects and intercambios with local church communities. There might be a possibility for hotel guests on the ship too, as the ship needs also to generate income.

I am looking for the right connections to start this big dream. I shared it with George Verwer, founder of the Logos ships. This was my letter to him:

Dear George Verwer,

My name is Avantia Damberg. I'm a Caribbean Christian contemporary artist living in Curaçao. I was very inspired and confirmed by a talk you once gave on the Logos Hope ship, when I was working there. It was in 2009 in Guyana. In 1996 I for the first time got introduced to the Logos ships because the Logos II was in Curaçao and I volunteered there. It's then when the seed for reaching out to many nations by ship was planted.

In your talk you mentioned how we could dear to dream really big. Because we have a big God and he has big dreams. He is the one that makes them happen anyways. I have lived in the Netherlands for 15 years where I did 2 studies and worked a bit and when I look back I can see God embroidering my life and it only gets more interesting!

My big dreams are to one day have an art ship with an art ministry: that goes around the world giving art therapy and gives workshops to christian artist worldwide. Not only that: it does art projects in slums and creates new places, we show exhibitions that teach about the Bible to either churches or in galleries, and (christian) artist can apply to join the ship for a short term to join us in these activities and built up their own portfolio and see the world. The tool to reach people for the gospel, is in this case art, to spread the gospel is the main focus.

I myself am an artist that loves to travel and make art while I travel. Most of my ideas I get while I travel too. For example: my work 'Meetingpoint' is being shown in Berlin, Germany and in Oostende, Belgium, and this work is inspired from a Bahamas pastor on the Logos Hope ship that was teaching about the Tabernacle. Making work about God's Word feels very long-term as God's Word itself, when spread, never is in vain.

God has interesting ways of confirming my or rather His dreams. I was already dreaming this, before I got on the ship. Before I went on the Logos Hope, I was working at an audiovisual department of the Dutch Navy. My Dutch boss, who I was working for and told my reason to quit said: ''So you are going to preach the gospel on this ship with books, but you should really have your own art boat and travel the world with your artist friends.''

My mouth dropped to hear my non-believing boss just tell me what my own dream was. I even haven't developed it like that yet in my mind, and there he was saying it!  Like this in continued each time traveling and art was involved: the confirmations continued each time.

Now I am writing you to see if you have any connections where I could find a ship (not as big as the Logo's Hope, but maybe more in the category of the former Doulos). Even if Operation Mobilization is interested to do a ministry like this, since OM already has all the experience and connections

I am praying to see who to share my dream with and who can be part of it. I certainly don't want to do this on my own strength. Only on God's strength and with others to join me. 

see a building on the top, at the right above?

There is also a building in Curacao at the coast of the sea, where large ships temporary park. This building used to be a quarantine hospital a very long time ago. It's a colonial building that has been empty since the 60's. Because of the stigma it has with sickness and death, it never got fixed. With the Logos Hope we parked there as well in 2009 and I walked up to that building. I prayed there for the dreams I have and I had a very exciting and peacefully feeling as if I already got the building! The building is public property. It belongs to everybody. I would love to continue to have it open for the people of this island. The government won't mind if I buy it for 1 symbolic dollar, hence it totally gets restored to it's original state. Which is very pricy of course. 

I envision this building to be the main office of the art ship, I also envision it as a cultural platform for artist-in-residencies, a gallery, an art library and an art cinema. Below I would love it to have a wood and metal workstation.  There is an organic restaurant-café and gallery-shop to generate income and some rooms are rented out for tourists. Everything is ecological and mostly self-made. 

So In this picture, you see a building on top. This is the colonial quarantine hospital with a long history of sickness and death, but also restoration. I would love to see it as a place for restoration again, but with the focus on our relationship with God.

quarantine |ˈkwôrənˌtēn|

nouna state, period, or place of isolation in which people or animals that have arrived from elsewhere or been exposed to infectious or contagious disease are placed : many animals die in quarantine.verb [ trans. ]impose such isolation on (a person, animal, or place); put in quarantine.ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Italian quarantina ‘forty days,’ from quaranta ‘forty.’So, I would love to have this building as a place of isolation in which people that have arrived from elsewhere and have been exposed to a hectic, chasing-of-the-wind life to find rest and peace with God here. Artist who stay here, can stay for 40 days and the themes that they need to approach in their art is always healing, restoration, reconciliation etc.I actually get lot's of ideas for this building, but my calling is to be an artist and so I have this approach. I also want to learn more about the healing ministry, since this is also a desire of my heart. It could be that this building could become a wellness center where massages are given, spa's etc. but also christian counceling.
Finally, I have a blog where i sometimes jot down parts of my dream and I also have my professional website.
Please have a look! and I hope to hear from you in the near future.Lot's of blessings,
Avantia Damberg

In the next blog... the response

The Art Platform dream continues

When I was in the Netherlands I was dreaming to live back in Curaçao for certainly 2 years long, e-v-e-r-y day.
As I was daydreaming, I often saw myself in the old quarantine hospital ruin. I was painting there, using it as my squatted working studio. 
Now I finally live back on the island. I don't have a car yet, so I can't go up there as much as I like, also I already have a studio for 3 months.
But yesterday I just went by foot, my dad's dog joined me. I wanted to go to the quarantine hospital merely to pray. I got happier getting closer and when I was there I was praying all around and in the building. Praying to search if my dream is God's will indeed. But I could conclude that there is no reason why it would not be his will: I just wish for a place where people can get 
- refreshed 
- restored  
- strengthened
- recharged
all by art and film, by christian artists, by the gospel in the shape of art.  That's right: the focus when in it comes down to the purpose of this building is that people can come here to get recharged thru art and get in contact with the gospel, the Word of God and the Truth which will set them free and delivered.

 praying on each side of the building

the building from down the beach

This building was always a place where sick or tired people went to get restoration. This can still be the purpose of this building.
But now the building itself is in need of restoration. It's just a useless old building at this point. It has nothing going on. It's just there.

 bible verses somebody grafittied. 

John 8:32

New International Version (NIV)

³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Who are the people that could use this art platform?
The people of the island of Curacao (for workshops, for a movie, for an art exhibition)
Artists worldwide that come to do an artist-in-residence
Local artists
A church community
Schoolchildren
Tourists
Sailors and workman on the large sea tanks, and drill islands that park there for a while.
Animals, also for healing

How can the art platform generate income for itself?
- by partly rented hotel rooms
- by the cinema
- by the restaurant-terrace in the back
- by the art shop
- by the given workshops
- by the sales of serummats for green roofs
- by it's own bakery
- by friends of the foundation (donations)
- by an animal shelter and medical care
- by a spa and massage place

How can the building reduce it's costs?
- it's own organic garden and herbal for the restaurant, guests and the spa
- it's own turkey and chicken, and local fish for consumption
- buying most locally
- solar panels for energy
- wind mill for energy
- water well (if possible)
- volunteers

view from the right stairs of the building, a large drill island on the left .

The bible verses on the walls, quite a heavy selection! Reeks a bit of a legalistic preaching person

Hebrews 10:26-32

New International Version (NIV)

²⁶ If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, ²⁷ but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. ²⁸ Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. ²⁹ How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? ³⁰ For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[a] and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”^[b]31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

2 Timothy 4:2

New International Version (NIV)

² Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

John 8:44

New International Version (NIV)

⁴⁴ You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The next post will be about the Art Ship and later on the reaction of the founder of the Logos ships.

COMPASIÓN

11 Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 


Each time I'm doing an artist-in-residence or being in another place while laying my creative eggs, I choose a word from Col. 3: 12. It's an ungoing process. Already I have Gentleness, Humility and Kindness. In Madrid I chose the word COMPASSION and I made it in Spanish. I will go later in the afternoon, to see if it's still there!

Mission Madrid

Hi folks!
This is the second and last newsletter from Madrid.
Tomorrow I will be making little videoshots during the Serve the City Madrid projects, and Noemi Mena will interview.
We actually made a promotion movie for Serve the City Madrid a month ago. It's this funny stop-motion short that tells the story of how people can make the day of homeless man, just by being nice to him. He also gets encouraged to do nice to others and before he knows, he is off to his brand new job...We shot this short with friends and all the spanish people that participated were willing to make free time and were super enthusiastic. 

I have to say that during my entire stay in Madrid so far, not one single setback has occurred. Except for one: I accidentally dropped my laptop and the screen broke (again). Although I was devastated, it's just a laptop, and I remembered a preaching from a pastor in the International Baptist Church saying: also at setbacks praise God! For He does turn all the bad situations into opportunities. It's an exercise though, it doesn't come naturally to us to praise God when uncool things happen.
Starting the day with God led me to many encounters with the people of the neighborhood.
One day as I was sitting on the bench reading a chapter out of 'Walking with Gay Friends' (highly recommended!) a man approached me and introduced himself. He said he is a Gipsy and had had a Dutch mother. He started singing beautiful flamenco songs to me, one entitled 'Flaca' meaning 'skinny'. He saw how my nail-polish was all worn off and he said: "I'll go home and get you some nail polish remover. I'll be right back, give me 20 minutes.''
He did return with the nail-polish remover and a whole beauty box with nailpolish and he polished my nails dark purple, to my choice. 'But,'he said, 'the middle finger you should give another color, in case you meet rude people, you can give them a very subtle hint'. Also another gipsy joined us, his name is Louis. Louis made me choose of colored paper and then he made me paper flowers. During the process he said: Remember the thought you have while I make this. Afterwards he told me to close my eyes and choose a parfum as he sprayed to different kind of scents on my hands. I chose a parfum which he sprayed on the flower he made and he gave it to me. 'Now, go to my facebook page PapelFlores and write down the thought you have'.
I spend the entire afternoon with these gipsy men, as they sang and we ate sunflowerseeds and tamarind juice, to celebrate the Caribbean. They invited me to go to the beach in Valencia, which I politely declined.

I also met an old man with superlong white hair and a beard like Santa Claus. But he was very tall and skinny. He didn't speak. He wrote down his thoughts and referred to himself in the plural form. We had a very interesting conversation, he has some interesting wisdom and we shared a very nice self made lunch together, including saliva as we shared 1 calebas cup with chai tea, that afternoon. I felt so Jesus-like. But each time I brought the subject to God or Jesus, he reacted very angry (although not with words, but with body language). He was very busy rejecting God and I'm afraid something terrible happened to him that he blames God for and won't speak again. However, he was referring his hatred with bible texts and such. Being so busy hating God is also a good thing,  ánd reading the Bible, cause he is busy with God still. I shared this encounter with Kelly and he had tried to have conversations with him too, but the man always reacted very aggresive towards him. Which must be spiritual battle, because Kelly here is one of the most humble caring people walking these Malasañan dog-peed streets I know.
I continued to meet René, the guy who felt sharing whatever was on his heart every time we met. His friend has a drug addiction and gives him also financial problems. I would just listen and pray for him, which he highly appreciated. The next thing was to introduce him to Kelly and April, so they can continue this friendship. They are looking forward to that.
Meeting people went all automatically some days. Just sitting on a terrace with potential missionaries from the US who came to ask Kelly questions (for God called them to Burgos, the north of Spain) led to 2 Americans joining our table and later on also 2 Indonesian girls. In the end I was with one American girl who is from Austin, Texas and the two Indonesian girls of which one is also an artist. We went out that night to dance reggae and next thing I know I met the coolest reggae band on a personal level ever. With some people you just know the friendship is long-term, although you met very shortly. That's how it felt with Seedee (Senegal) Seb, Lif, Fred and Leo (France), Matt (UK) and Xavi (Spain), who all live in the south of Spain, Almería. These guys were very dedicated to their music and very laid back and friendly. Of course this is very normal attitude in the reggae scene, and I wish their type of kindness was also so automatic in the christian scene.

Meanwhile back in Madrid it is very nice to be connecting and catching up with the Spanish friends I already have, like Noemi, Ana and Nuria. I am also learning a lot about church planting  and mission from Kelly from Decoupage. I guess I do feel called to start a similar group in Curacao. I have friends there who each time I go back ask me: Is the Zolder coming to Curacao? Yes? Will you start the Zolder here? To which I always react like: whah? me?! who am I to start a church. I have totally other ideas for Curacao (see previous posts), but then again: why not? and how about a home church with an art ministry focus?? Involving my christian art friends, Operation Mobilisation, the art and reggae scene... Hmm, something is brewing here...

Being in Madrid has been a lot about the people and their stories. I have this also re-occurring in the drawings I made here. Together with Chris I spread my drawings guerilla style. I was very happy to be able to exhibit my paper installation cloud during the Sofa Underground (an underground living-room concert organised by Chris and Gloria, changing living rooms each time in the city) It's a nice concept: you make a list, and everyone wants to be on that list. But it's a limited number, so then people want to be part of it even more. Nice idea for ArtSpace50, which also has underground aspects. 

people could write down their wishes, desires and new starts

of the Single Cloud series

I am also glad to have met Miguel from espacia Islandia. He has an art space where he organizes micro artists-in-residences of 2 hours and gives a 2 euro grant :) The space was beautiful to exhibit my drawings in, and make once again the one single cloud. The cloud refers actually to God and that with Him there is a new fresh start after a very dry season. And then he pours blessings abundantly. If you see just one single cloud in the sky, remember this. And be ready to be blessed in a crazy abundant way.

Miguel is an architect/artist and has studied in Rotterdam, so he has fond memories of Holland and was happy to host me in his art space. I will be taking his drawing workshops just before my return to Amsterdam. Decoupage community that invited me over here, has also learned from me, as I have from them. They also desire to have more encounters with their random neighbors, of all sorts. They also learned about being pro-active and self-initiating when it comes to being a professional artist, but still knowing that God is the true manager and provider of work.

during one of the microResidencia's we went with the community Decoupage

I have had a super blessed time here and God's presence was with me 24/7 as he gave me rest (Exodus 33:14). A great part of this I have you to thank for, your good will, prayers and financial help has made it a carefree stay in Madrid, without all kind of struggles or setbacks. It was merely about God's presence, and me calling on to his presence for each day, and the peace he gave me. As he told Moses:

 ''My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest''

I am also very inspired to continue with installations and guerilla art. I will take this new inputs with me to Amsterdam. I see you all soon again in the near future! thank you for reading.

in Him,
Avantia

A.I.R Madrid

Hi guys!

Here is an update of already 3 weeks in Madrid! At first as I arrived, you can imagine, I'm immediately falling in love with the neighborhood Malasaña. Everything is just around the corner. The grocery shop, the 1 euro shop, the post office etc. I walk everything and as much as I can and get pleasantly lost every day. I take photo's, as a way of collecting, of streets and houses. Today I decided to collect the artificial flowers i keep seeing on the floor and start a new collection for possible work. I have a lovely apartment all for myself where I do my drawings, but I also have a favourite square where i sit and draw buildings called Plaza Dos de Mayo. When I arrived I started drawing right away and I want to draw at least one drawing a day, but that's not happening in the second week already. That's because social life is also catching up here! Also: I want to draw with content, something meaningful. So I started placing God in the center on day 1 and that took effect right away: God gives me something to draw about if I start and end the day with Him, awesome. It gives meaning, cause now I feel I'm on to something, together with God and that's exciting. The drawings are in that way prayers or discoveries with Him.

Decoupage I met Chris and Gloria, Kelly and April and their 3 kids, and the other members of the community Decoupage: Paz, a Spanish girl who lives a street away, Adriana, a lady from Colombia who is of course very warm, enjoys hugging type of person, and Alejandra and Johnny, a Colombian/Spanish couple, all supernice folks. The theme they are discussing is homosexuality. We are all reading a chapter a week from a book called Walking with Gay Friends, by Alex Tylee. As Christians in general we haven't pulled it off so well how to deal with this theme towards homosexuals or towards Christian homosexuals. The author of this book is a lesbian christian. The community feels like the art community back in Amsterdam: we eat together, pray together and after discus a theme. But before that we go to the Plaza 2 de Mayo (square) where we pray for the neighborhood on the spot. The rest of the week is not necessarily about connecting with people and eventually pull them into the Decoupage group to expand the community, but it's the other way around: the connecting happens where the people already are. Seeing each other regularly at the park, cafe, club etc. This is for me a new approach I'm learning from. Kelly Crull has introduced me to the neighborhood by taking walks and showing me all what's going on here, while giving me also historical and demographic background information. Last weekend he took me to the community garden where I had a nice talk pulling out weeds, until my violent hey fever forced me to leave the place.

Meeting new people I keep running into René who lives in the area i like to sit and draw at the Plaza 2 de Mayo. He is an American with most family in Panamá, and he travels and lives here and there. He has two funny Jack Russel dogs always with him. He shared his concern for his housemate and friend who is hooked on cocaine and wasting hundreds of euros per week, also the rent. Would be nice to connect him to Decoupage or other christian friends I'm meeting here. (I still work like that ;)

One day I locked myself out and I had to get a copy of the keys at a friend of the girl's apartment i'm staying in. This girl Maria is such an open and nice person and we were just talking and talking that she almost forgot to give me the keys. I might invite her for something too, but she already suggested to have coffee in June. Also one day, late on a Saturday, on my way back home, I passed a catholic church that was open at 2 am in the morning on a very busy square where all the Spanish were partying the weekend. I walked in, curious, about how late it was open. A friendly girl told me all about how they just were open so people could have a quiet time and pray. And so I told her what I am doing here and she prayed for me and was very excited that we both wanted to share about God's love to others. We were saying how much we have the same God, same Son and same Holy Spirit and how He works thru us. I could grab a folded colored paper with a bible text inside and open it at home (as a fortune cookie message kind-of-thing). The verse is in Jeremiah 29:13: If you seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. Me buscarán y me encontrarán, cuando me busquen de todo corazón.  

Guerilla art
I'm doing 3 things here: spreading my drawings in an guerilla art way, exhibiting work where possible and doing an drawing event during a 2 day concert of the music band of Chris Peterson. The drawings I make, I copy and spread as gifts thru jars or in big ziplock bags and leave them behind on benches or on walls for people to take with. Guerilla art works excellent for christian artist: you spread your message, anonymously and as a gift in the environment that you would like to influence. Anonymously: The glory goes to God and it's just about planting a seed at that instant. I am reading a book about this that inspired me alot: The Guerilla Art Kit by Keri Smith. A lot of her ideas i have actually been doing since years.

I also once as I am working a lot in cafés (no internet at home) was in a art café and I asked the owner if I could exhibit. She pulled out her agenda and said: yes, i have a spot in March 2013. Well, I'm not that long in Madrid (or AM I...?) so I suggested if I could screen my animations since they also have a screen. She agreed ant the 2nd of June I get to show my animations in the heart of this neighborhood. Great! Besides that I'm making a promotional short movie for Serve the City Madrid and all friends (the new ones and the old ones) are involved in the making of. It's very short notice but very much fun to do. I'll post the end result as soon as it's done. Tomorrow I'll give a workshop 'Praying in Colors' to the Decoupage group, this is also something new for me, so I'm happy to get more into this way of praying. Decoupage is very interested in the art ministry as a whole, as it's not happening anywhere in Spain yet. Finances I reached 95% of the target raised money for my stay here in Madrid and calculated that I spend like a 80 euro per week on daily expenses if I watch it. So that's just 40 euro more then budgeted. Because the social life takes merely place outside in cafes and restaurants, my wallet fills up quickly with receipts :) Any support is still possible (A.M.A Damberg ING Bank 9242014) til end of June.

Thank you for all sorts of support an prayers so far! I feel super blessed where I am at because of you. your servant artist reporting from Madrid, Avantia

AIM = artists in mission

I have worked on the Logos Hope ship for a couple of months and when I met the founder, George Verwer, I was totally inspired. My dream to have a sailing boat one day is very old. It's so old i forget about this dream even. Before I went on the ship I told my boss at the Dutch Navy that I would go work on a ship, and anyways, my contract ended too and it was not going to be prolonged since they were cutting costs. Job agency workers are let go first. I explained him about the ship, he knows I'm Christian. But then he said something that shocked me: well, you are an artist. instead of working on this ship, you should have your own artist ship and go around the world sharing the gospel with other artists. I couldn't believe was I was hearing out of the mouth of my non-believing boss. But God can speak thru anyone. If He did, i'm not sure, but it felt like this boss just formulated a lingering dream I have had and gave it shape. Then when I started to work on the ship, there were many more 'confirmations' of this desire. And to top it off George Verwer spoke exactly about this: big dreams are the opportunities God is looking for: he is BIG so he wants to do BIG, thru us. Normally as a person you think: oh, it's too big, i need to be a millionaire. Or oh, it's too much fun to actually be possible. But it's really a matter of praying for it and going along trusting, and see how God makes things happen. First God prepares you. He doesn't want you to get into something you can't handle. He doesn't want you to get burnt out for example. Things must go in a good balance. Then He prompts you to take steps, so He can direct those. See, it's God's big plan, so all the honor goes to Him too. So you can't say that you did it. George Verwer is the founder of the Logos Ships but he won't get tired to mentioned that it's actually all God's doing. I wouldn't want it any other way. But my dream for the art platform in Curacao is getting more and more shape! Yes, I don't want to do it by myself, I want to do it with a group of christian artist who are or want to get on fire for the Lord in their artistic profession. I would love to have the platform for artists-in-residencies to get training in how to preach/heal/listen/prophesy/inspire/bring people closer to Jesus thru their art. Those are basically all things from the Holy Spirit. There are many christian conferences and such. But are there also many christian AIR's? The Bible is such an endless source to make art about, it's crazy. Example: I'm working on an art installation about the book of Ezekiel and there is so much to work with. But also i like it because it's for me the most exciting way to dig in and study the Word, by afterwards pour what I've learned and experienced into an art form. It's what a pastor does with his or her teachings. i've gotta sleep next blog soon

theft

I dream everyday of starting a new life in Curacao.

I plan to return in the end of 2012 and before I arrive in Curacao i plan to make a journey around the globe.
As I am traveling, the possessions i want to take to Curacao with me (not much, but still) are being shipped to Curacao, so that when I arrive my stuff is there and I can send them to a new apartment :)
I am looking for a job in the meantime, a part time job to be able to pay for monthly costs (like food, rent, phone, internet). Also i will start a foundation.
But for the foundation and the art platform I write about in this blog, I don't want to do this alone.

I want to do this with people in my foundation and or with other people who have the same heart for art and God.

Also I notice that I don't want to do something so intensive that it steels the time I need to be with God. I know that I can be with God while doing work. But I also know when it is not the case. I want to prevent this from happening over and over again :)

Because of this I keep searching for God's will and I hope that He will be the one that will do the planning as it says in
Psalm 32:8 (NLT) "The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.

Restore

The Quarantine Hospital as I mentioned before, was a place where people came after a looong trip on the ocean, weather the future looked bright after that, or the future was much worse.
The current status people had in the previous centuries was sickness, and this building was to recover. The last official purpose of the building was that it was a hospital for leprosy patients. After that the building was sometimes used for parties, or for those who thought it was beautiful and romantic, for a wedding. But it is beautiful, and romantic.
I would love to return this building to it's glory and continue the aspect of recovery. But recovery, not with medical care, but with art, film ,food and rest.

I would love for it to stay a public domain.
I picture this building having on the ground floor: a exhibition space, a terrace behind and a little library where the books reach the ceiling.
The art exhibition space is part of the Artist-in-Residence of the building.
3 times a year both an Caribbean and foreign artist are invited to come and make their work.
Not only artists are invited, also architects, garden architects, illustrators and designers.
The terrace in the back is where breakfast, lunches and dinners take place. People are also welcome to come and have lunch or dinner, but the terrace is inherent to the other activities that take place. The breakfast, lunches and dinners are organic and biological foods.
It is possible to host parties there and bands can come and play entertaining music.
The library is an art library: it has art history books, contemporary art books, art books from all the different parts in the world, from Islamic art till the art of the Brazilian tribe in the Amazons. Also all type of design books, magazines, and dvd's are there to view or borrow.

The new quarantine hospital should be as some kind of retreat center, where new energy for creating is there without any pressure. It could be a place for rest, to unwind your mind.
In the next blog I will tell about my dreams for the basement of the building..