Dec 2, 2013

first things first

The title of this blog is 'From longings to matters'
I don't post much lately, but it is because there is work happening behind the scenes.
It's because I am listening and learning much about God and about his timing.
And because I'm trying to figure out the priorities. I always have trouble with the 'first things first' order, I am easily distracted and lack discipline.
I lack discipline to start something. When I am already doing it, I have a lot of discipline. I think I lack discipline because I don't know how exactly to start with some things.
What helps me to discern what is more important is this bible verse:
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness...
This helps me prioritize. For what God wants for us is very good. (And what do we want for God?)
He wants awesome things for us, even bigger cooler things that we ourselves imagine. Yes, because he actually loves is very very much.
I just want my needs, wants, desires, longings etc. to match up with His. Because if they don't, i am 100% certain i will get disappointed and burnt up, wasted time and effort.




Oct 22, 2013

Just in between...

Oh how He loves us!

The Art Platform dream continues - revised: The Meeting Place

I wrote this post before, this is an old post, but now I will add some new changes next to it in blue:

When I was in the Netherlands I was dreaming to live back in Curaçao for certainly 2 years long, e-v-e-r-y day.
As I was daydreaming, I often saw myself in the old quarantine hospital ruin. I was painting there, using it as my squatted working studio. 
Now I finally live back on the island. I don't have a car yet, so I can't go up there as much as I like, also I already have a studio for 3 months.

Now, it's 10 months later. I have a car! but the quarantine hospital is used a lot again by the public, although not all for good things. For drug dealing...:(

But yesterday I just went by foot, my dad's dog joined me. I wanted to go to the quarantine hospital merely to pray. I got happier getting closer and when I was there I was praying all around and in the building. Praying to search if my dream is God's will indeed. But I could conclude that there is no reason why it would not be His will: I just wish for a place where people can get 
- refreshed 
- restored  
- strengthened
- recharged
all by art and film, by christian artists, by the gospel in the shape of art.  That's right: the focus when in it comes down to the purpose of this building is that people can come here to get recharged thru art and get in contact with the gospel, the Word of God and the Truth which will set them free and delivered.

This is still the same! But not all by art and film or by Christian artists only. Yes, they are a huge part, but the building now (as God keeps shaping the idea) is that it is a place especially for believers. Local churches can come and organize retreats... They can come and do conferences...Mission teams from abroad, from around the Caribbean, but also mission teams from around the world, China or India, or Canada or the US can come to stay there as their base, they can rest there.
Believers who are in a country going thru civil war or a politically very unstable situation (for example Kenya or worse Syria) can stay for quarter a year to listen to God where to go next. Believers from Belarus can come to get inspired and get bold.
The art part gets smaller, but shifts more to the Art Ship...
I went with my sister-in-Christ and neighbor girl Ranasha to pray there, also the dog joined again, but we were not alone. Then we went to the fortress instead. And we prayed there having a complete overview. Again my heart rushed full with excitement!! Ranasha, who hasn't read these posts was praying for the exact same things for the old hospital! 
She also got excited and she said she could just see it all happening!

God wants to MEET WITH you. He loves spending time with you. Yeah, he does.
The quarantaine hospital could be this Meeting place.

 praying on each side of the building

the building from down the beach

This building was always a place where sick or tired people went to get restoration. This can still be the purpose of this building.
But now the building itself is in need of restoration. It's just a useless old building at this point. It has nothing going on. It's just there.

At this point people to photoshoots, make movies there, deal drugs there...it is crowded again with people. But not in a Godly way... For God this building is easy to make His and use it for his purposes. For God nothing is complicated. For God money is just numbers.
 bible verses somebody grafittied. 

John 8:32

New International Version (NIV)
32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


Who are the people that could use this art platform? Who are the people that could use this Meeting Place?
The people of the island of Curacao (for workshops, for a movie, for an art exhibition) The local believers of the island of Curaçao. No matter what type of church they go or don't go to (as long as it's not some scam church or religious sect)
Artists worldwide that come to do an artist-in-residence
Local artists
A church community
Schoolchildren After school activity places instead
Tourists
Christian refugees
Sailors and workman on the large sea tanks, and drill islands that park there for a while.
Animals, also for healing

How can the art platform generate income for itself?
- by partly rented hotel rooms
- by the cinema
- by the restaurant-terrace in the back
- by the art shop
- by the given workshops
- by the sales of serummats for green roofs
- by it's own bakery
- by friends of the foundation (donations)
- by an animal shelter and medical care
- by a spa and massage place
- by renting out the place for retreats
- by renting out the place for mission teams
- by renting out the place for christian conferences 

this means that the architecture of the building will include more sleeping units and large meeting rooms, lounges etc.

How can the building reduce it's costs?
- it's own organic garden and herbal for the restaurant, guests and the spa
- it's own turkey and chicken, and local fish for consumption
- buying most locally
- solar panels for energy
- wind mill for energy
- water well (if possible)
- green roofs
- volunteers
 
view from the right stairs of the building, a large drill island on the left .


The bible verses on the walls, quite a heavy selection! Reeks a bit of a legalistic preaching person, so i will take them out but leave 2 tim. 4:2.

2 Timothy 4:2

New International Version (NIV)
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

I have a nicer bible verses to place here:

Isaiah 52:7

New International Version (NIV)
How beautiful on the mountains
    are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
    who bring good tidings,
    who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
    “Your God reigns!”







The next post will be about the Art Ship and later on the reaction of the founder of the Logos ships.
I'm going to inform the founder of Logos Hope that I have some new ideas.

Sep 7, 2013

The Giving Economy

So far being back on the island, God is providing for my income as an artist.
I am feeling superblessed I have to say.
I am doing only things I love! What a luxury.


But what excites me is that more and more I get into the giving mode. I mean: I work so I am able to give. Happily I send my invoice of freelance work and get the money on my bank account: to pay someone else for her hard work. There is a lady who cleans our house. I pay her salary. I don't have a fixed income, but how cool to give it away so someone else has her income too. And so it continues. I wanted to buy a ticket for a friend who lost both her parents due to cancer this year. In a couple of months time, both parents died. I think this is devastating. God told me to pay her ticket, which is around 700 dollars. I thought it would be totally worth it. That is, if she agrees.
I was really upset when one day I opened my laptop and the screen was all scrambled! I re-started it, i took the battery out and put it back, and still the screen was scrambled. I cried of frustration, this laptop's screen broke already 3 times. Also if I would need to buy a new one, I wouldn't be able to get this ticket for this friend. At this point I bursted out with tears.
My parents prayed for me and with me I got the same bible verse 3 times from different sources. In the end my mother switched on my laptop the next day and the screen worked as if never something was wrong with it. So when the specials arrived to buy the ticket for the friend, I told her to send me her pasport details. But she actually declined. It would be too much for her and she atually needed to stay at home (or her place in Amsterdam) to calm down from all the traveling up and down (she is not Dutch) and so traveling again was just too much. I totally understood. She also wanted to pay the ticket herself if she would come. I said, well I can at least pay half of it.
Anyway, she didn't reply and I think the idea for her to retreat here and come to rest was good, but still it was the timing that wasn't right.
Meanwhile I got a severe lower back pain. It is the bed I am sleeping on. I do exercises regularly but when I get op the next morning my lower back is like a block. I spend the ticket money on a bed especially for my back, with special mattrass. It was a big investment, the bed was like 900 dollars.  Well, my back got only worse! And the shop doesn't take back what they sell. I hate that, they should stop being darn greedy and if the costumer is not happy with the product they should get their money back. Especially for such a expensive purchase. Again we prayed for them to take it back. She said she will try to let the manufacturer take it back. 2 weeks later, still now news. I am learning how to do biblical budgetting, but i think the bed wasn't budgeted, it was just a urgent need. I thought I prayed about it with God, but i don't know for sure. Now this bed is just laying there, it's a delicious bed, but not for my back :(

Als I am working on the generating automatic income, to become economically independent or self-sufficient. This has been consuming most of my time instead taking action for the Art Ship and Platform. This makes sense because I already need to sustain myself first.
I will start a family business with my cousin. I got into this innovation prize competition already. Exciting! I have a green idea. It might really take off and be an success. No, it will, let's trust!

I will make the Book-an-artist website. It's all designed already. I will make the christian caribbean dating website. (but this one is free) And also the christiann version of airbnb.com if there isn't one yet. Ideas enough and work enough. And next to that I'm working on my art projects. Joy!

Okay! Gotta go bring food for my grandma and do some shopping. It is so extremely hot today.

Jonasism

Recently I went to a retreat for women of my church.
The point of a retreat is that you let everything go and all the tools are there to catch up with God.
But it's always the other way around: God wants to catch up with you. He always speaks to you during a retreat, is my personal experience and the experience of other people. Sometimes even when you think you have nothing to retreat about, he talks to you anyway. Because again: it is God who comes for us. He always takes initiative. It never really is the other way around.

We studied and disected the book of Jonas. I am a missionary and not a prophet, but Jonas really sucks as a missionary. I mean, he just hated the idea to preach about God to another nation that wasn't Israel. He hated the idea that God cares about other nations besides Israel and that other nations also would have a relationship with the living God. He preferred to DIE. Wow! And still, God used a 'bad word' guy like this!

(When I noticed that Jonas hated the idea I was wondering some other things about Jonas.
Did Jonas like to eat fish? What if he hated fish and especially the smell of fish?
Could Jonas swim? What if he had fear of large quantity of water?
Was he claustrophobic?  But these questions are off topic.)

I wonder what my Jonasism is. What are areas I really don't want to go for, people I really don't care for. I remember growing up in Curaçao I didn't like Venezuelan people. At all. I didn't like the Venezuela I knew from TV. Now I don't really bother with that. But I really really urged God never to send me to Venezuela, like he send Jonas to Nineveh. God could send me to Venezuela now, if he wanted, because I changed. I won't be thrilled, but I'd do it just the same.
My other Jonasism is that I'm not thrilled to work with today's kids and teenagers. I'd be good at it actually. But I don't want to play the parent. And kids of this generation are, sorry to say, so rude. They lack respect and think they are so wise and know everything, because they have seen it all. They are like adults that deal with their children issues in an adult way, while still in a little body. It's horrible. So my Jonasism is that I would avoids kids and teenagers, this grew like that in the Netherlands. But I need to point out that I actually LOVED to work with Kenyan kids and teenagers. They steel you heart. All your love, you had know idea about, just pours out for them. So for Kenyan kids I will make the exception.

What I also learned during the retreat is that God is specific in his plans.
1. He has a specific plan for an individual
2. He has a specific plan for a nation
and his will is not depending on us.
His will be done even if we don't cooperate. Or he uses our disobedience in the end for the good. The only bad thing in disobedience is that other people, innocent, get hurt in the process.
3. God already has started to work out the plan. He already prepped it and the people involved, even the authorities he already prepared. This king of Nineveh immediatly took measures to obey God and so his whole people. This is really awesome. If God makes even the government or authorities do what needs to be done so it's all official. I LIKE this
5. Continue to trust God and surrender to Him. 
4. Don't fill the plan in the way you want. Ask God for the details.

I've got specifics!
So here I am. I  regularly check with God if God really is behind this Art Ship and Art Platform thing. You know, if it is not just my own thing. God told me that it IS his thing, (i understood this thru preachings and thru several bible verses in devotions) BUT, I asked God for more specifics then.
And now things are even more specific and clear about the content of the Art Platform. The Art Ship maintains the same, but the Art Platform will have to have a better way to sustain itself:
It will be a place where churches can have their retreats! Also it will have an outspoken Christian image and will be for Christian artists worldwide. I thought it will be that the people who run it would be christian but that it would be for all artists, both on the island as internationally. Nope.
So the building, I already got it that it will be a place where 'restore' with God and 'healing' from are the main things also has the very logical 'retreat' element as well. That it is a retreat is very obvious! It is located like that, it is built like that, but that it will be as a place for retreat totally makes sense. So it will be like those retreat houses, for churches (or groups) and also for individuals. They can book a room and really retreat their and connect with God.
The general element that I thought it would have: that it is for everyone involved in art, and that they will meet with God, has been narrowed down. Of course non-believing artist can still apply for artist-in-residencies but they are well aware of the fact that it is all a christian art thing.

It is to also unite Christian artists world-wide.
In Holland I have met so many Christian artists, in different places and on different moments, that think exactly the same as I about how to create art about your faith in Christ, or your relationship with God. We are all on one page and that is confirming that it is the same Spirit.
Not only artists, but anyone with a creative profession (also architects, designers etc.)

This platform is for them. And the authorities will be super open to it. They will make it happen.
I just need to notify them of the idea. So now that the plan is more specific, I could again re-write it and notify the government that there is a plan for this building. In my own mind (this is the human part that fails God: I think the current government sucks so much! and that they will do nothing, because they are capable of nothing. Also the bureaucracy is so horrible that any plan won't even reach it's destination. BUT! I just need to obey God and stop asking Him if these plans are his and get into action. Then He can actually SHOW that yes, these ARE his plans or else they will definitly not happen but just stay what they are: dreams.

Jul 15, 2013

Bubbles to the surface

Being back on my lovely island, while finding a way to settle in, I am not letting go of my bigger dream: the Art Ship and Art Platform on this rock in the ocean.

I am still in my heart forming all the right ingredients to eventually just go, I think God is behind the forming part. He is also continually pursuing my heart. Something is bubbling to the surface, something is brewing...

I am focussing on these different areas now:


  • 1. To get more intimate with God (as a life style)
  • 2. To live in a giving economy and not a getting economy (the getting economy is the one we normally live in)
  • 3. Hello, I am here! I would like to have a partner to share life with and continue or combine dreams with.
  • 4. To generate several sorts of continuous income.


1. To get more intimate with God

There is a bible verse where it says to go back to the time where you just became a Christian. That time when you were so on fire for God and so excited, that time you really felt God grabbed you.
Well, I am discovering that you can have this 'high' all the time. God would love you to. These times of glory. I am excited of the fact that the Lord Jesus Himself gives this as a guarantee.  He explains how in the gospel of John, chapter 15. This passage about the True Vine has all these ingredients in it that I would like to dissect up-close the coming months. It kinda could lay out my life style: to be one with Jesus as Jesus is one with the Father. To really stand still at what He is praying for in chapter 17. In chapter 17 he repeats stuff from chapter 15 but re-affirms it with God himself. So I have really solid guarantees to hold on to, on how to be 1 with God. One thing is to abide in Jesus
What does abide mean? we don't use it on a daily basis but we have a dictionary

abide |əˈbīd|
verb
1 [ intrans. ] ( abide by) accept or act in accordance with (a rule, decision, or recommendation) : I said I would abide by their decision.
2 [ trans. ] ( can/could not abide) informal be unable to tolerate (someone or something) : if there is one thing I cannot abide it is a lack of discipline.
3 [ intrans. ] (of a feeling or a memory) continue without fading or being lost.
archaic live; dwell.

ORIGIN Old English ābīdan [wait,] from ā- ‘onward’ + bīdan (see bide ).

I want to accept what Jesus did and said
I want to act in accordance with His Word
I want to continue my life with God without fading or being lost
I want to dwell in His presence

Another verb used in bible translations instead of abide is remain

remain |riˈmān|
verb [ intrans. ]
continue to exist, esp. after other similar or related people or things have ceased to exist : a cloister is all that remains of the monastery.
stay in the place that one has been occupying : her husband remained at the beach condo.
[with complement ] continue to possess a particular quality or fulfill a particular role : he had remained alert the whole time.
be left over after others or other parts have been completed, used, or dealt with : [as adj. ] ( remaining) he would see out the remaining two years of his contract.


I want to continue to exist as the person God wills me to be
I want to stay in the place (spiritually) where God wills me to be
I want to continue to posses a particular quality and to fulfill a particular role: the ones God has given me and placed in my heart 
I want to continue with God plans,  after Jesus has completed his mission and dealt with eternal death and condemnation already, the way is made ready for us to continue God's plan.

Good. 
Jesus wants not only to remain and abide in him
but also to remain and abide in
His Word
His Love
He also says HOW to remain in his love, he is not making it complicated: by obeying his command.
He also says WHAT that command is: to love one another. 
Here you have it. But of course the way to love one another is still something hard, or actually simple, but just hard to execute. Especially if you have the wrong mindset and don't have the Holy Spirit active. So the more we become like Jesus, the easier it gets to love one another. And the Holy Spirit does the work, like a battery in a device. See, the Holy Spirit prompts us to act, if we allow him.
But you need to be sensitive and open for him to get you going. Is my opinion. So I think I must listen carefully to God, and spend time with Him sharing my thoughts and prayers. And then when the Holy Spirit prompts me, I just respond. 
But this is not all the time, every day YET. Can you imagine a life where it is?
Nowadays I am waaay too distracted. I get distracted all the time too easily, seriously. Internet is a big part of it, all the different ideas and things I want to do distract me. I was living in a city that distracted me so much, just by living there. I left that city. Now I am waaay less distracted living on this island but I need to be careful! The distractions are creeping up to me here too. I need to re-focus regularly and set my priorities asking for  God's wisdom. (I just got distracted now by a friend who send me a Whatsapp message)

I am getting some help from other sisters in Christ. One sister, she will get married soon by the way, helped me in how to manage my time and set priorities. Another sister she is my biological aunt, she is always busy with goalsettings and I learn a lot from her too. Then another American sister, i don't know her at all, but she writes devotions and I read them. She wrote a book that I am going to read as soon as it arrives in my mailbox. The book is called A Sudden Glory, by Sharon Jaynes. I already read a chapter and I was so inspired already.

Next thing i will attempt: pick a spot outside where to meet with God regularly. You know, most of the time I just meet with God in my room. 
When I just got back on the island I would sit outside in the morning sun. Or I would climb the mango tree and sit in there. (I still like this spot, but it's a bit uncomfortable for my butt) 
I have a sweet neighbor girl, she has a secret place where she meets with God at 6am whenever she gets the chance. She wanted to share with me this spot too. But she likes to give her word, but to keep her word, she is not there yet. So I'll just ask her. I want to give her one of our premium mango's anyway.

Okay, I will write point 2 and 4: about the giving economy and about me generating income in the next blog. Finally in the blog that follows I'll expand more on point 3: the husband. I see you smile. Hm.






May 7, 2013

ScanDisk the heart



CHECK LIST OF THE HEART'S INTENTIONS

As a Christian in everything it's good to scan your heart for impure motivations.
I remember when we just had a PC at home, back in the 90's, and I would run regurlary a program called ScanDisk, in MS DOS. It would scan the entire system and look for errors etc. It was maintenance, so the computer could run and be used to its full potential. I wanted to get everything out of the machine.
This, being like 15 years old, made me realize I also need to 'scandisk' my heart from time to time, purely for maintenance. To be able to run properly as a follower of Christ. But today: How much of my full potential of my being do I give to God?

Today as I was doing my devotion I read this text and I found it a good 'scandisk' question: 
How many of us are not content to serve God with the gifts He has given us while whining about the fact that others have the gifts we want. 
We convince ourselves that our longing for a bigger platform is to further the Kingdom when, in reality, that longing is for self-promotion, fame and recognition.

Now the devotion is about jealousy, and how this is a very bad root to grow anything out of it. Nothing good will sprout out of jealousy. On the contrary, just destruction.

But for me it's not about jealousy at this moment, it's about continuously searching for the right motivations for this dream I have, so that I can built with the right motivations and not the wrong ones. 
That's why this sentence is always good to scan with:
we convince ourselves that our longing for a bigger platform is to further the Kingdom when, in reality, that longing is for self-promotion, fame and recognition.

1. Is the Art Ship dream for self-promotion?
2. Is the Art Ship for fame?
3. Is the Art Ship for recognition?

A. Is the Art Platform for self-promotion?
B. Is the Art Platform for fame?
C. Is the Art Ship for recognition?

Good questions.

I will answer them right now, but regurlary answer them again from time to time, for myself.

I am already an artist and each step of becoming that artist-in-the-making has been totally by God's doing: my art education I have had thanks to God, my graduation, my residencies after that, my exhibitions, my assignments, everything.
I am an artist for no other reason than that God wants me to be one. Being an artist is not a save choice. Being a Christian artist even worse. I can't make or produce anything worthwhile without His input. He is my source and drive. Or my work can be weak, empty. There is a lot of empty art out there as it is, because of the source the artist has.
I also see it as a way to be salt in the world of art. A lot of times as a Christian artist, it's not about the art I make, it is about the people I encounter, mostly. And what God wants me to do with these moments. They are orchestrated by Him and He is actually the artist in the background.

So I don't do anything for selfpromotion: neither the Art Ship or the Art Platform. It just doesn't make sense. Nothing is built up from my own to start with. 
An artist that has built up an art platform with his own strength, that's great! I am happy and proud for that artist. But I am not that artist because I chose to serve God and not myself.

Is the Art Ship and Platform for fame?
YES. To this question I would say that the GOAL is not fame, but the RESULT of fame would be cool. 
Why: because I want to let the world see how cool God is and how He can do big things with those who serve Him.
We have such a powerful rich God, and we want the world to understand that. Anything is possible for this God and we want the world to understand that.

So in this context I would love one of the outcomes to be fame. But personal fame…? Now let's see.
I remember in high school I wanted to be popular. (I actually did become popular in the last year of high school). As I was a Christian, I did not stand a chance, I thought. I thought: One day, when we are all already grown up and high school belongs to the past - I will be famous and you all will remember me. I thought so because I thought I was 'special' and nobody was seeing that at the time. Yes, in high school, forming your identity, these are the thoughts that consume your mind. Being special and being seen.

Funny thing is that now I am not having this as a drive, (to become famous) but learn to trust in God's timing in my art career. He is totally my manager. He could indeed make me a famous artist if he wants. But what is a famous artist anyway? Isn't it your ART that makes you famous, IF you are to be famous. Not you. People don't actually know what the french artist Christo looks like. Or what  Jeff Koons looks like. Unless you make a lot of self-portraits that get famous too. Of course then people know what you look like (Frida Kahlo, Vincent van Gogh, but they are dead)

As a Christian artist you feel like shit when you pursuit self-ambition, and fame, you can feel very empty and disappointed  I know this from my own experience, and I soon decided not to bother with this. That is very freeing! and a better way to truly work on your becoming-an-artist.

Recognition for my self as an artist? Yes, I probably do look on this. Because the more work I have and the more I can make a living from my art, the more people have recognized me/are recognizing me.
Although, just as the fame, it is more a RESULT then a goal, since God gives me the work in His timing. Then there is the law of what your reap is what you sow: working continuously and focused will pay off, or produce fruit. This is for any artist, Christian or not.

Recognition for the Art Ship or Platform?
Again, it would be a nice result, but it is not the main drive why I pursuit these dreams. I can' even pursuit these dreams on my own, neither do i want to. So how can I get personal recognition for any of these?

I want to preferably pursuit these dreams with a mate, a partner, since 2 can do more then 1. I am currently also scanning my heart to see if the desire to have a life partner is a need that God puts in all of us since he actually wants to be the one person that we need, this need we have to be loved by that special someone. Every human being has this need, some stronger then others, so probably I think it originates from being created to be loved and cared for by God. This topic is a new one, i'll continue it in another note :)


Mar 6, 2013

Let's get started!


The prayer group is shaping up! I already have some people who have heart for the idea and really are into it. Meanwhile I will work on a way of generating income long term, of course for my self but... What has inspired me now is this verse to have as a goal: to help other christians in need.
I have an idea that could get big like Pinterest for example, (you think: oh dream on). the only way is to just start trying it out.  So 1. I will start with that
2. Yesterday I received a box from the post office with like 7 books from George Verwer, that he sent, such a nice gift! The latest he wrote 'Drops from a Leaking Tap' I will start with, and also the book True Grit, from Deborah Meroff.
At this point the Curacao government is temporary, set for 6 months. I don't think it's the right time to inquire about the quarantine hospital at all. It would be a waste of my time. But with the next government sitting, I hope to start getting that ball rolling too.

Okay, i'll post more developments as they unfold soon.


Mar 4, 2013

This morning I had a series of pleasant dreams

This morning, the 4th of March 2013 already, I woke up very happy and relaxed. Bliss.
I have to say that since I'm back on the island, I have had very interesting dreams, very pleasant dreams and very freeing and liberating dreams.

But let me tell the dreams I had this morning, that at first I thought were just regular, but nice dreams. Afterwards, I think they were not just nice dreams...

In my first dream I was swimming in the ocean, you can say at Caracasbaai, but not at the beach but near rock formation. Okay, in this pic below You see at the most far side this rock formation, no beach there. I was swimming there with my cousins. Similar-ish. The water is very deep and dark blue and we had a stairs to climb out. (Do you see that building on top? Keep that building in mind for the next dream, but I'll post another pic around that time).
So me and my cousins, especially those that are adventurous like me and love to swim (Samantha, Renato, my sister, Glenda, Lucretia) I don't know exactly which ones, but my generation and family.
We were having a blast, especially me, with this seal. I mean, actually there are no seals in the caribbean sea, i think. They are more in cold waters. This explains our excitement with this seal.
The seal was by it self and was like a puppy who wanted to play with us and we just had a blast with him. I could hold him and he would drag me into the waters, like a torpedo. And there was also either a dolphin or a penguin(!) Another animal that is in cold waters that joined us. So our fun was exploding.
My aunt Joyce called us: she wanted to take some pictures of us, of all her nephews and nieces.
I got out with the seal under my arm ánd the penguin under the other arm. I was so excited to have them in the picture with us. But my aunt took like a thousand pictures of us and she wanted us to pose in the most standard, most obvious, boring way: the shortest people in a line in front and the tallest in a line behind, all next to eachother in a neat line, standing straight. And she just took the same pictures over and over again, she was standing straight in front of us and we had to smile etc. You get the picture, the 'official' boring way of taking pictures. I ran out of patience although I couldn't wait to see the pictures with the animals in it!! They were very calm, but i worried about them. I think they were drying out. They needed water! So after a while I started to rebel: i took all kind of funny poses, from different angles and positions and I put funny faces. And I certainly didn't look into the lens anymore. Then I told tante Joyce, okay that's really enough we need to get back into the sea and I ran into the ocean with the animals still under my arm. We kept playing with the sun glistering on the water.
I wanted to see the pictures afterwards so badly, but I was worried that there were no pictures, since I was dreaming (lucid dream)

Dream 2:
The next dream I was on a cruise ship that was quietly sailing on a VERY LUSCIOUS and beautiful closed-of river, like in the Amazone, so no open sky, beau-ti-ful green and flowers everywhere and birds and colors. It was magical and this huge cruise ship was tightly going thru all this beauty. Well, dreams are crazy. But again: i was with lot's of people and we were very happy. Kinda like the Logos Hope ship but bigger and we soooo enjoyed God's creation, as if, yes that's how it felt: this was a part on the planet nobody has discovered yet before.

Dream 3:
Now this dream is very funny too.

I was having a lunch break from work with my friend Lukas (by the way: Lukas has read this blog and is totally on the prayer team and is totally into my vision, he told me today :). So I was with Lukas, chitchatting, we were super relaxed, we enjoyed our work so much and were on a break and we felt so GROUNDED in God's love and God's family: we felt we were doing our calling and the satisfaction was super. So then we were having our break on a dock.
The dock was actually again near Caracasbaai, just like where I was swimming with the seal and the penguin, but a bit further where large ships dock.

Large ships, tankers, oilrigs normally park there. (for real too, see picture above, and also see this one building on top to the left to the left ;) You see, that's where we WORK. A HUUUUGE cruise ship was approaching the dock. It was totally silent, it just moved nearer and nearer and was so high that you couldn't see the sky! We were waiting for a friend who worked on that ship but she was to far somewhere into that large ship that she had someone deliver a package for us. It was a colorful package with candy, like exotic japanese candy, (I watched a Japanese movie yesterday) and we were psyched that she gave us that nice gift. Right after the guy gave the delivery, the ship backed away and left very quickly, but we found it all the most normal thing. There were the heavy-duty workers on the deck of the ship (so now there was a deck, I guess the back part of the ship since it was so high at the front). and the men were acting really excited. they were acting crazy as if in heat or something. I sensed they were looking so crazily at me. So I asked Lukas: why are they acting like total idiots??
Lukas said very laid back and relaxed: oh, that's just because you are naked. I was totally nude. I looked down and wasn't even shocked or ashamed. I was like: yeah, duh. So what?! Why do they make such a big deal? It makes me a bit self-conscious if they act like that, although I was totally fine and confortable being naked. I was even especially happy with my broader hips, because in reality i don't have broad hips but wish i do. I don't remember if Lukas was naked too, or if he had clothes on. Just because I totally didn't notice, or paid attention to what he had on or what he looked like that day. I just knew I was with Lukas and that's it.
We walked back to work, the quarantaine hospital, our break was over.

I woke up and first thing i did is I told my parents my dreams, because I was so blissful in the morning, not a single worry in my system. It's all light, birds and breeze in my room, every morning. I felt a little taste of something in those dreams...
My mom said: oh that's funny: we just got the offer in the mailbox for the cruise ship trip to the Mediterranean we're going to take. (Spain, Italy, Croatia)
Then I whatsapped Lukas and told him he was part of a dream and he said he was thinking about the vision again and would pray for the dream i just had :)
Later in the evening I went to a bible study. It was about Genesis.
It was about at the beginning status / relationship we had with God. How we had sooooo much choice in fruit trees (but 1 tree). There are soooo many fruit trees in the world! There are sooo many beautiful birds. And other animals to play with. We were in God's presence and God physically visited us every day, say between 5 and 6.30 pm, in the cool of the day. Okay, so in Adam and Eve's case they were hiding from God, as they knew He would visit again as usual, and they heard His presence aproaching.
But before that they realized after eating the forbidden fruit that they were naked. I mean they were naked all along, but now they looked at eachother from the outside. Oh, you're Asian? Oh you're fat. Oh, you're blond! Oh, you're a bit old. We look and first see our appearances.
Before we were not aware of our appearances, because we didn't see it: we were into each others spirits. We were on a whole different level. I don't remember what Lukas was wearing or if he was naked too. I just didn't register all that, I only knew I was chatting to Lukas and I was very connected to him. I only saw his spirit, and felt connected with his soul. How weird is that, that you don't see the appearance of a person but only feel the person? You have a deep connection on a spiritual level and all the physical appearances of the other being don't matter, or you are just not aware of.
So in the dream: fact was that I was nude all the time, but had no notice cause it wasn't something to make a big deal about, i was oblivious of it. and Lukas said it totally matter-of-factly: oh, cause you're naked, and I knew that but whatever. But next to that: we felt so grounded, so in place, so purposefully. It was how one day it will be, either in heaven or in the 1000 years millennium, but I hope also a taste of this, in the old quarantine hospital building, restored.  I'm not sure if we would work as staff naked though, but why not. I just think that it's a step too far for most Christians, both non-believers, as they connect sexuality with being naked. And we just aren't in the garden of Eden. But the feeling of that place, should be sort of, approached at this building, one day...

The day before I read in my bible:
Ephesians 4:28
Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

This is about Christians who were stealing.

It must feel great to do something 1. useful with 2. your own hands, that you are even able to 3. share with those in need. I mean: how satisfying must that be? that from your work the income even enables you to share. I think this is a wonderful goal: I would love to work in a way that I am able to look out for other peoples needs,  meaning that my needs are probably already met and I don't even seek to have my needs met first. I won't be in that spiral where there is always something else that I would  want. Like: I have everything, but now I want to have my own spa. Then after I have the spa, how cool it would be to have a yacht. After I have the yacht, but how nice it would be to go on winter sport every year. After I do that every year, but how nice would it be to go on safari again. And I would love to have those hand-made Greek beds worth 6000 euro and up, or how about owning this aweome trailer where... so with this starting point I never am really satisfied it seems.

Concluding: fine tuning the elements of the work I would like to do and that has me grounded in God's love and presence, fulfilled with purpose and satisfaction, by seeking for others needs, while being with animals and in nature and being totally confortable with my self, together with my brothers and sisters and family in Christ.

I tasted a paradise-like but futuristic era, even though God was not physically present in the dream and didn't even come up.


Feb 13, 2013

More good advice and OPEN CALL


Thanks  I am now back home with wife D. which is great.   Praying for you again.    The main thing is never first what we are doing but first who we are and our life in Christ……have you read some of my books.? In his grip, george

and my reply:
Yes, I did, but many years ago. Which title again would you recommend? Then I might re-read or read it, the one that you think will help me with this specific dream.

I think I will read these books and meanwhile keep looking for my team:

George:
I would love you to read my books….can I send them in spanish or English or both….you can always give  them away if extra   my latest is Drops  or Gotaas…I think you would find it helpful.  Put clear address in an e mail back to me.  His grip george




And so I did. Meanwhile I have an OPEN CALL to my friends but also people I have never met before:

IF

you are believer (as in you have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your life)
you LOVE other cultures, love to travel, love to be in the outdoors, love the ocean
you are adventurous, 
but also enjoy working in one place, working hard but because you love it so much it doesn't matter
love to be in a warm country and like people and their mentality from warm countries in general

AND  PERhAPS

you happen to be a captain
you happen to be a miljonair or know people who are so rich they would love to do something nice with their money
you happen to have contacts in the maritim world
you are in the boat vessel business or in some business connected with ships
or you know someone who is

OR

You are good in organizing, you are an effective progressive type
You are  artsy carpenter
You are architect
You are a chief engineer
You are into (green) durability 
You are visionary
You are great in connecting people, but also mobilizing people
You are dreamy
You have a great sense of humor

AND

God has placed a similar look-alike dream in your heart or you could see yourself in some place in this either 
BASIS of the Art ship: the art platform based in Curaçao
or you could see yourself serving on this art ship


Hmmm, maybe you should write me more about your ideas! Maybe you would like to be part of my prayer team?
Let's start communicating
This is me:


I enjoy ice cream from time to time. How about you? Tell me more about you and your dream :) Who knows who knows.





Good advices


Dear Avantia   
 I read this and prayed for you.  I would suggest you get at least 10 people  sold out to your dream and vision who are ready to suffer and have their hearts broken many times to go forward to make it happen.   Esp get a captain and chief engineer.  I had both and many more people before I took the big step  plus 14 years of solid foundation…prayer partners ...   donors….and about 100 people long term that were committed and loyal including top accountants…
Keep in mind as I learned the hard way that you will need huge amounts of money…and that ships are basically to some degree major floating problems.  Be read to eat them for breakfast.    So God bless you.      It's best to be in touch with our ship director Peter Nicoll…..praying for  you.    One idea is to do it on land in  a rented place to prove the vision and grow it.    This is what we did and it was a great help
his grip,
George

My response:

Dear George,

Thank you so much for your response. It is very helpful advice. I will continue to pray and search for a team. I think it is a good idea to start first on land. 
Thank you also for already being in my praying team :). If you meet people that you think: hey, this person has a similar dream as Avantia has, you can give them my email address.

Many blessings and greetings for sunny Curaçao!

Avantia

Feb 12, 2013

The Art Ship


The art ship
The main focus of the Logos Hope ship is to spread bibles in countries where it's hard for people to get their hands on the good book.  This is a cool starting point. 
The main focus for the Art Ship is to spread the message of the gospel thru art all over the globe. This ship has christian artist on it who love to travel and make cool art at the same time. Not only do they get to make art, they also give workshops to share their expertise with other artists, christian or not. They will exhibit in the harbours where the ship is docked and do projects and intercambios with local church communities. There might be a possibility for hotel guests on the ship too, as the ship needs also to generate income.

I am looking for the right connections to start this big dream. I shared it with George Verwer, founder of the Logos ships. This was my letter to him:

Dear George Verwer,

My name is Avantia Damberg. I'm a Caribbean Christian contemporary artist living in Curaçao. I was very inspired and confirmed by a talk you once gave on the Logos Hope ship, when I was working there. It was in 2009 in Guyana. In 1996 I for the first time got introduced to the Logos ships because the Logos II was in Curaçao and I volunteered there. It's then when the seed for reaching out to many nations by ship was planted.




In your talk you mentioned how we could dear to dream really big. Because we have a big God and he has big dreams. He is the one that makes them happen anyways. I have lived in the Netherlands for 15 years where I did 2 studies and worked a bit and when I look back I can see God embroidering my life and it only gets more interesting!

My big dreams are to one day have an art ship with an art ministry: that goes around the world giving art therapy and gives workshops to christian artist worldwide. Not only that: it does art projects in slums and creates new places, we show exhibitions that teach about the Bible to either churches or in galleries, and (christian) artist can apply to join the ship for a short term to join us in these activities and built up their own portfolio and see the world. The tool to reach people for the gospel, is in this case art, to spread the gospel is the main focus.

I myself am an artist that loves to travel and make art while I travel. Most of my ideas I get while I travel too. For example: my work 'Meetingpoint' is being shown in Berlin, Germany and in Oostende, Belgium, and this work is inspired from a Bahamas pastor on the Logos Hope ship that was teaching about the Tabernacle. Making work about God's Word feels very long-term as God's Word itself, when spread, never is in vain.

God has interesting ways of confirming my or rather His dreams. I was already dreaming this, before I got on the ship. Before I went on the Logos Hope, I was working at an audiovisual department of the Dutch Navy. My Dutch boss, who I was working for and told my reason to quit said: ''So you are going to preach the gospel on this ship with books, but you should really have your own art boat and travel the world with your artist friends.''
My mouth dropped to hear my non-believing boss just tell me what my own dream was. I even haven't developed it like that yet in my mind, and there he was saying it!  Like this in continued each time traveling and art was involved: the confirmations continued each time.

Now I am writing you to see if you have any connections where I could find a ship (not as big as the Logo's Hope, but maybe more in the category of the former Doulos). Even if Operation Mobilization is interested to do a ministry like this, since OM already has all the experience and connections
I am praying to see who to share my dream with and who can be part of it. I certainly don't want to do this on my own strength. Only on God's strength and with others to join me. 
see a building on the top, at the right above?

There is also a building in Curacao at the coast of the sea, where large ships temporary park. This building used to be a quarantine hospital a very long time ago. It's a colonial building that has been empty since the 60's. Because of the stigma it has with sickness and death, it never got fixed. With the Logos Hope we parked there as well in 2009 and I walked up to that building. I prayed there for the dreams I have and I had a very exciting and peacefully feeling as if I already got the building! The building is public property. It belongs to everybody. I would love to continue to have it open for the people of this island. The government won't mind if I buy it for 1 symbolic dollar, hence it totally gets restored to it's original state. Which is very pricy of course. 
I envision this building to be the main office of the art ship, I also envision it as a cultural platform for artist-in-residencies, a gallery, an art library and an art cinema. Below I would love it to have a wood and metal workstation.  There is an organic restaurant-café and gallery-shop to generate income and some rooms are rented out for tourists. Everything is ecological and mostly self-made. 

So In this picture, you see a building on top. This is the colonial quarantine hospital with a long history of sickness and death, but also restoration. I would love to see it as a place for restoration again, but with the focus on our relationship with God.

quarantine |ˈkwôrənˌtēn|
nouna state, period, or place of isolation in which people or animals that have arrived from elsewhere or been exposed to infectious or contagious disease are placed : many animals die in quarantine.verb [ trans. ]impose such isolation on (a person, animal, or place); put in quarantine.ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Italian quarantina ‘forty days,’ from quaranta ‘forty.’So, I would love to have this building as a place of isolation in which people that have arrived from elsewhere and have been exposed to a hectic, chasing-of-the-wind life to find rest and peace with God here. Artist who stay here, can stay for 40 days and the themes that they need to approach in their art is always healing, restoration, reconciliation etc.I actually get lot's of ideas for this building, but my calling is to be an artist and so I have this approach. I also want to learn more about the healing ministry, since this is also a desire of my heart. It could be that this building could become a wellness center where massages are given, spa's etc. but also christian counceling.
Finally, I have a blog where i sometimes jot down parts of my dream and I also have my professional website.
Please have a look! and I hope to hear from you in the near future.Lot's of blessings,
Avantia Damberg

In the next blog... the response

The Art Platform dream continues

When I was in the Netherlands I was dreaming to live back in Curaçao for certainly 2 years long, e-v-e-r-y day.
As I was daydreaming, I often saw myself in the old quarantine hospital ruin. I was painting there, using it as my squatted working studio. 
Now I finally live back on the island. I don't have a car yet, so I can't go up there as much as I like, also I already have a studio for 3 months.
But yesterday I just went by foot, my dad's dog joined me. I wanted to go to the quarantine hospital merely to pray. I got happier getting closer and when I was there I was praying all around and in the building. Praying to search if my dream is God's will indeed. But I could conclude that there is no reason why it would not be his will: I just wish for a place where people can get 
- refreshed 
- restored  
- strengthened
- recharged
all by art and film, by christian artists, by the gospel in the shape of art.  That's right: the focus when in it comes down to the purpose of this building is that people can come here to get recharged thru art and get in contact with the gospel, the Word of God and the Truth which will set them free and delivered.

 praying on each side of the building

the building from down the beach

This building was always a place where sick or tired people went to get restoration. This can still be the purpose of this building.
But now the building itself is in need of restoration. It's just a useless old building at this point. It has nothing going on. It's just there.
 bible verses somebody grafittied. 

John 8:32

New International Version (NIV)
32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


Who are the people that could use this art platform?
The people of the island of Curacao (for workshops, for a movie, for an art exhibition)
Artists worldwide that come to do an artist-in-residence
Local artists
A church community
Schoolchildren
Tourists
Sailors and workman on the large sea tanks, and drill islands that park there for a while.
Animals, also for healing

How can the art platform generate income for itself?
- by partly rented hotel rooms
- by the cinema
- by the restaurant-terrace in the back
- by the art shop
- by the given workshops
- by the sales of serummats for green roofs
- by it's own bakery
- by friends of the foundation (donations)
- by an animal shelter and medical care
- by a spa and massage place

How can the building reduce it's costs?
- it's own organic garden and herbal for the restaurant, guests and the spa
- it's own turkey and chicken, and local fish for consumption
- buying most locally
- solar panels for energy
- wind mill for energy
- water well (if possible)
- volunteers
view from the right stairs of the building, a large drill island on the left .


The bible verses on the walls, quite a heavy selection! Reeks a bit of a legalistic preaching person


Hebrews 10:26-32

New International Version (NIV)
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”[b]31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.


2 Timothy 4:2

New International Version (NIV)
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

John 8:44

New International Version (NIV)
44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The next post will be about the Art Ship and later on the reaction of the founder of the Logos ships.